AMPLIFIED

2010-09-30T16:39:00.003+10:00

HO HO HO.

its been so long. and maybe im posting only because i reallised how important it is to keep friends updated, about your life,

even when they are half-way-across-the-world-i mean, on the other freaking side of town. its funny how such distance already feels like a whole world away. but doesnt that also mean that town is A world, MY world, for it to be what separates me from my friends?

gaaah. life gets stupider if you stare at it for too long.

today, when i was sitting on the throne, a thought occured to about possible careers. it seems i am always looking into my past for my future. i thought, writing- why not? i love editing. my english is alright, and since im doing ki, my content would probably turn out blasphemous and morbid and still fascinating. then, law.

scrolling down a few posts, i reallise it has only been 3 entries away since the law internship, yet a whole year has passed and here i am at the same internship again. (at least, i suspect so.) i wonder if my boss remembers me. hmmm.

okay, kinda need to study for promos. im really scared i dont get to keep my H2 or get my lit H3. i just want the school to offer it to me, okayyy??? yeah im a bitch like that. hahaha.

2010-05-18T00:55:00.001+10:00

Dear Clifton,
I loathe you. nah jokin.
You have a nice tummy.
You make me annoyed.
You should stop eating.... See More
Someday I will kick ur ass.
You + me = broo.
If I saw you now I'd whack ur ass.
I want to hit you.
I would build a donno just for you.
If I could sing you any song it would be im yours.
We could sleep (not gays huh?)under the stars.

Love,
Clifford Herbert Theodore/google.html

just in case i forget. hahaha. i love cute things.

2010-04-11T16:22:00.005+10:00

cos maria made me do this.
8D

You Scored as Moya (Farscape)

You are surrounded by muppets. But that is okay because they are your friends and have shown many times that they can be trusted. Now if only you could stop being bothered about wormholes.

Moya (Farscape) 100%
Deep Space Nine (Star Trek) 94%
Serenity (Firefly) 88%
Heart of Gold (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) 81%
Millennium Falcon (Star Wars) 75%
SG-1 (Stargate) 69%
Galactica (Battlestar: Galactica) 69%
Andromeda Ascendant (Andromeda) 69%
Babylon 5 (Babylon 5) 63%
FBI's X-Files Division (The X-Files) 63%
Enterprise D (Star Trek) 50%
Bebop (Cowboy Bebop) 44%
Nebuchadnezzar (The Matrix) 38%

oops. seems like though i heart star wars, im not cut out to be a bounty hunter yet. heh. :D

EATING: SUBWAY MMMM
DRINKING: COKE AND LEMMON TEA
LISTENING: Norah Jones, come away with me :)
MOOD: extremely contented, i feel like loving everyone. that's the way to go. ^^

meanwhile. i havent updated since... jc started! grah. but i just understood how easy it is to find people's blogs over the internet, and you never know who's reading :shifty eyes: ...life's kinda busy anyway.

got into: pre-u sem. IT SPELLS PUS. RIDA IS REALLY AMUSED.
YOG ambassador hosting thingy. cos of the little speech on maria's blog. XD
KI. blowing my brains out weekly. sigh.

..so this will probably be the last post for yet another long time. important stuff will be on the locked jjang blog:)

sorry and goodbye...

):

Trinity: six hours ago, i told the merovingian that i would give up anything and everything for you. but do you know what has changed in the last six hours?
Neo: no, i dont.
Trinity: ...nothing.

:)

though time has aged,
nothing has changed.
i still love you guys, and now,
a sudden hope that its forever. :)

2010-02-13T18:20:00.000+10:00

LOL OKAY I WAS LOOKING FOR MONOLOGUES, AND THIS CAME OUT

The Fisher King
written by Richard LaGravenese

Jack: Do you believe in God?
Anne: Ohh! You gotta believe in God! But I don't believe God created Man in His image. 'Cause most the shit that happens is because of men. Men were made in the devil's image. And women were created outta God. 'Cause, after all, women can have babies--which is kinda like creating. And which also accounts for the fact that women are so attracted to men. 'Cause let's face it, the devil is a helluva lot more interesting. I slept with some saints in my day, believe me, I know. Eegh-boy! So, the whole point of life, the whole point of life is for men and women to get married so God and the Devil can get together--and work it out. (beat) Not that we have to get married or anything. (Mae West voice) God forbid.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

the midday adventure to the post box

2010-01-28T16:59:00.005+10:00

yay! just went to post val and joey's letters!:D

i bet you're probably thinking, what the fuuu-fish, veg, you actually took a walk!?

yeah, i did.

funny thing, i was actually wearing a skirt when i did it. it was this flowy maxi purple one that i'd long forgotten about, but discovered it while rooting around.

now yeah, you can blame this on the fever, or the fever medication, but i think its out of sheer boredom.. and the fact that im such an awesome eccentric person that i simply felt like.

and you know what?

it was fun.
hahaha. yeah! fun. and relaxing too. 8DDD

you know how people always tell you to slow down, enjoy the scenery, things like that, and you always think its crap? well. it isnt. while strolling to the bloody post box, i noticed for the first time ever, that the roses were in bloom. serious. there's this pot of plant outside my door that's never doing anything, but today it had a huge gorgeous rose in the middle! ^0^

and then, because it was midday, and there was no one around, i heard two pigeons cooing to each other. it made me want to fall asleep, only it was too hot and i was standing.. and then, i saw butterflies above the ixora bush, outside the pub. yeah its random, but the pub in my estate has butterflies to greet you while you're drunk. there were two of them, butter yellow, and chasing each other around. how sweet is that!??

i've reallised that butterflies are nuts because they can fly in the midday sun and not faint.

at the post box, i noticed that there was a short cut back to my house, if i can climb over the fence. i never knew! maybe its cos i usually only go at night, where its too dark to see anything. but yeah, if you manage to climb over the fence, its actually only a pretty short jump to the slope on the other side. gonna try that next time.

oh yeah and, on my way back, there was this hot guy jogging around... hahaha. speaking of which. i've generally noticed that most of my neighbours are rather hot people. the kids, i mean. those that i've grown up with and seen all their birthday parties and naked baby pictures... yeah. i think that the people in my estate really grew up to be beautiful, cos we all grew up in such a nice place. its not something you get everyday. i guess im a really lucky girl to live here.

2010-01-27T18:20:00.002+10:00

YUCKS I AM SICK

-FEELS ACHEY ALL OVER
HAS SHIVERS AND SWEATS
WANTS A BATH.-

O level results and the whole posting process is such unnecessary emotional turmoil.

"amour, amour! oh woe is it to have it, and to lose it!"

2010-01-22T16:36:00.010+10:00

OH GOD. THE OLDIES IN MY OFFICE ARE JUST BITCHING ABOUT MARRIAGE.

i have come to the conclusion that all successful people are cynical about love. they honestly treat marriage like its a business deal!!

[and while everyone can talk endlessly about love, here is what i think. ive had ages on long empty bus rides to think about this, and i cant get eulogise anymore about this.]

(and if all guys think like this horrid hong kong - accented secretary, there wont be anyone left to marry.)

-plugs in mp3, tunes out nagging sexs+dating talk-

i tell you, this internship is... DOING WAY MORE BAD THAN GOOD! hahaha. so far, i have learnt more about which club is best for beer, how to tell if He Is A Jerk, Why I Should Not Date Now, and HAIRY GUYS ARE HOT! theories, than about trademark classifications or the legislative laws concerning data protection or patent protections. great. i tell you, that horrid hong kong secretary has had a bad past with guys. with the passionate way she elaborates about their debauchery, you would think all men had dicks for brains. and brains for dicks.

(oh, theyre talking about rape in marriage)

even though im only sixteen, i think at this age i am more mature than them. sorry, not really mature.. what would be a better word? i think, of better opinion. i feel that when you meet The One, you'll know. there is never really too early, or too late, because love hits when it hits, and its just some thing you cant control. while you shouldnt marry and pop out a whole brood of little demons, stop playing around and hold him close. yeah, i am such a romantic. but i would rather be stranded with love than with success and all its loneliness, as how this poor said secretary seems. when you've known love, and lost it, you'll know its too late. you dont want to be in the place for regret then.

(widower or divorcee?)

this is probably the reason why singapore is not having enough kids, because we are really too successful at everything else. and we dont believe in love. we want money, and we often dont reallise it until too late. i have seen my parents' friends have affairs, divorce, more affairs, some affairs only discovered at death... and it sucks to be heartbroken then. so you were saying, 'marry for money'? at this point, someone with innocent faith on love is better than your critical knowledge.

They way they talk about marriage... just screams "i havent got laid in too long".

it isnt right. we need more idealists. it seems as though she is afraid to love... she needs more audrey hepburn, breakfast at tiffany's and less of Wuthering Heights -.- it isnt good. she's poisoning all their minds!! ~~OLD PEOPLE SUCK. they are horny, they want sexs, they believe themselves invincible against love...~~ i dont think i want to go there. success glimmers until you get nearer, and reallise the glimmer is just their tears coating the cold wealth. ive grown up, grown cynical, then grown even older and decided it isnt considered living if you live a coward from love. how can you expect to find love later when you dont even believe in it?

sigh. love is not a game, and i think you've all forgotten how it feels.

while darkness is infinite, in the heart of its strength lies its weakness.
a single lone candle is enough to hold it back.
love is more than a candle.
love can ignite the stars.
-Matthew Stover

so, are you happy the way you are?

2010-01-21T11:36:00.004+10:00

HO HO HO. :D

more silly drabbles before i start work!
okay this is set in the potterverse, again, and caroline is an OC. um. she's just a kid, say about 4 years old. she's the real cute and innocent... or not. anyway, enjoy!:)

“What if she never wakes up? What if she dies? I’ll be an orphan,” she sobbed.

Could anything rip out his heart any more? “Don’t worry about that, Cupcake. You’ll never be alone. You’re mum will get better. Besides, you have me…and Blaise.”

That seemed to make her feel better. She sat up and looked back and forth between Draco and Blaise. She had a puzzled look on her face.

“Are you two gay?”

Blaise spit out his fire whiskey and coughed. “Shit, where did that come from?”

“Just wondering.” She shrugged her shoulders.

“No, we’re not gay,” Draco laughed. “Far from it.”

“Well good. Then Blaise can be my boyfriend.” Caroline clapped her hands.

This time Draco choked. “What?”

“Oh, Darlin’, you wouldn’t want me for a boyfriend.” Blaise winked at her. “I have really bad habits. I smoke, I drink, I leave the toilet seat up…” Caroline giggled.

“Yeah, and see how hairy he is? He sheds all the time. Plus, he’s not good enough for you.” Draco smirked.

Blaise grinned and was about to give Draco the finger.

“Zabini, don’t you dare give me the one-finger salute. See what I mean, Caroline? No class, that one.”

hehehehehehehehehe.
okay now i need to write some stuff cos people are fighting over money (again.) maria and pooneth arent here! ;-; so its just me and the other oldies. ):

2010-01-20T17:16:00.004+10:00

our seniors here at the job are hillarious. i think we've lost so much of our mg culture): apparently, there's a secret language of how to talk in front of your parents/teachers that we never learnt from them. or saw the really cute ART relief teacher who was also a model. or played shoot shag marry with our dear Mr Johnathan Tay.

still. they are rather a gutsy bunch. they were playing shoot-shag-marry again, today, in front of the guys they were choosing to shoot/shag/marry. LOL. i dont think im that brave yet.

OH OH YEAH AND... HAHAHA. they were talking about their hairy-men fetish:love it or loathe it. sooo funny! then it digressed from general chest hair to... yeah. lower areas that should stay out of public scruntiny.

also in front of the guys. *clement is a guy*

"soooo... we asked around and found out all guys have hair from here (gestures at belly) to here (waves at crotch area)."
"really? how do you know for sure? prove it."
"well... oh. clement-"
"NO!"

2010-01-20T14:56:00.001+10:00

THERE IS A HOT INDIAN GUY SITTING OPPOSITE ME!!! *SQUEEE*
oh what shall i do.

2010-01-19T11:24:00.001+10:00

its time to get some

2010-01-18T00:14:00.003+10:00

LOL I HAVENT POSTED HERE IN SO LONG!
it always seems an eternity between the rants but anyway

HAVE A DRABBLE! HAHAH! i dont read bleach but this is still funny. and partly cos i cant even tell their gender, the names are that bad. just... accept the names as they are. LOL.

Title: Bedtime Stories for Little Girls
Rating: PG-13 (for violence?)
Pairing/Character/s: Kenpachi, Yachiru
Word Count: 555
Warning/s: No spoilers, just weirdness and OMG THE LAME.
Summary: Yachiru wants a story.
Dedication: tomomichi- I'm thrilled you seem to like my Kenpachi stuff (or at least, some of it...hope you like this one too).
A/N: Who said I was stopping at 100:P

“Ken-chan, read me a story!”

Zaraki blinked as Yachiru bound up to him, landing in his lap with a squishy sort of thud. He studied her carefully. “Uh… that’s just blood, right?”

“Yup!”

“Just makin’ sure,” he grunted, taking the end of his sleeve and using it to wipe her face off so he could actually see it. “You didn’t swallow any of that, didja?”

“Nope!”

“You’re a mess.”

“Ken-chan too!” the little vice-captain accused, pointing to a couple of red splatters that had long ago dried on the side of his cheek.

“Che, well, I got more of ‘em than you,” he shot back, eyeing her challengingly.

She stuck her tongue out at him. “’s ‘cuz Ken-chan just cuts away with no finesse. Baldy-shiny-smooth-head said so.”

Kenpachi’s eye narrowed. “Yeah well, he’s got a retarded dance.”

“It’s funny!” Yachiru giggled, though she didn’t say that it wasn’t retarded. “Ne, Ken-chan…read me a story now, okay?”

He sighed. “Stupid. I didn’t bring a book here with me.”

She pointed to some of the dead bandits littering the area immediately around them. “Ne…ask them.”

“Uh, think they’re dead, kiddo.”

She pouted. “Nuh uh! That one’s not!” she indicated one of the twitching, less maimed bodies behind him. “Ask, ask!”

Kenpachi sighed, but decided to humor her considering she was getting fussy. “Fine. Geez.” The eleventh division captain, currently in plainclothes, stood up and toed the twitching man with one foot. “Oi…”

“Kill…me…”

“Got any books?”

“Please…”

Zaraki toed him back onto his face. “Don’t think they got any, Yachiru.”

She pouted fiercely. “That’s no fun!”

“Oi, quit with the eyes, wouldja? How ‘bout I just make one up for you?”

“Really? Waaaah, Ken-chan’s the best!”

Sitting back down, Kenpachi grunted and stretched out his legs, using one of the defeated bodies as a footrest. Yachiru climbed happily back into his lap.

“Uh… let’s see. Once there was a guy.”

“What was his name?”

“Um… Bob. I dunno. Bob.”

“’Kay!”

“And one day, Bob ran into a guy that looked a little smaller’n him.”

“What did he do?”

“Well, he decided that since the guy was smaller’n him, he could uh… beat him up and take his money.”

“Bob’s not very nice!”

“Just listen, wouldya?”

”Kay!”

“Um…anyway, Bob threatened the guy and asked him to give him all his money. And his women, if he had any.”

Yachiru’s nose wrinkled. “Why would he want the women?”

“Cuz he was a pervert, okay? Pay attention.”

“Hai!”

“Anyway, the guy was smaller’n Bob by a little bit, but he was also really pissed off that day.”

“Why?”

“Cuz Bob tried to take his money, why else would he be pissed?”

“He wanted his women too, remember?”

“Well that’s not as important as his money, now shut up or I ain’t tellin’ you the rest.”

“Aye-aye sir!”

“Anyway, the guy was pissed. So he killed Bob.”

Yachiru looked up at Kenpachi with big eyes. “And then?”

“That’s it. The end.”

The pink haired death god looked thoughtful, chin resting in both hands. “Did he kill him with finesse?”

“Sure. Tons of it.”

She lit up. “Yay! That was a good story, Ken-chan!”

Kenpachi looked pleased with himself. “Yeah, that wasn’t half bad, was it?”

In the background, twitching guy groaned. “Please…kill…me.”

Growling, Kenpachi did.

And took his money.

Just because.

END

so yes, i know you all loved it. LUVV-D it. (must pronounce it that way!)

i dont think i'll be putting much here, now that life is so busy... you know, things feel weird now that i have a job. i honestly think my job is cool, you get to say, "oh yeah. i work at a law firm." rather flippantly while flipping your hair and flicking the gaping person a half-eyed look. its also very satisfying to say, "I'd love to meet you, but after work." or "Sorry cant, im working." -squirms-

so very satisfying.

hahahahahah. i guess its just the new-ness of it all that's refreshing. i'll rant about it here, but i cant be bothered to type it out. and risking my employer's ire. its more fun to blargh in real life, so yeah i'll explain if you ask me then.

TILL THE NEXT TIME...
(here, have an agonised draco malfoy)

2010-01-14T00:56:00.001+10:00

youre an elitist bastard, and you know it.

pride and prejudice in the twentieth century

yeah, im paying for thinking that way too,
cos irony has slapped me in the face.

2010-01-10T22:28:00.001+10:00

YEAH REPLIES TIME! FROM THE JJANGLE!:) I WONT PUT THE NAMES HERE, BUT LOL YOU CAN GUESS IT LA

Veg: You were the val i didn't/couldn't like cause daphne didn't like you then. So yea.

AWWW. psh. what good years we could have had if we werent all angsty and we hadnt had this rivalry thing...

veg: D< you're so mean i hate you (HAHAHAH) (sec 1)

yeah. (this one's maria so) i understand, cos i kind of hated you then too! but look! we're such vigorous lovers too now, lol. love you darling. my life wouldnt be the same without you!:)

vegg: the weird one. i wondered if your momma ever thought you never to talk to strangers, LOL\

nope. i taught myself the world was a friendly place, or i would make it friendly. heheh. :) so yeah, guess i wasnt very aware of violence then.

veg: lol idk. the girl who had a funny name due to there being two valeries. BUT WE HAD FUNCAKES TIME IN ART SO YES HUR HUR.

YES WE DID MY AWESOME SEXY FRIEND. WE SHALL ACHIEVE ULTIMATE SEXINESS... HAHAHA

Veg: "omg why is she so skinny!!" and the way you were so hyper scared me a little.

-HAS NOTHING TO SAY COS THAT IS SOOO NOT TRUE NOW-

veg: my ARCH NEMESIS. cause it's like she shares the same name as me. plus my mom told me this is primary six: you know ah, that valerie reads her textbooks before the teacher teaches that chapter. she's so hardworking, how about you huh? you play all day, never study one. be more like valerie!" and so i had the impression that veg was my rival, my competitor. lol. but that was primary six and guess what! we're good friends now.

hahaha. guess i explained that already in my letter/post!:)

*disclaimer* which was soooo not true. my mom was being a b!!!! and so.. yeah. i can tell you i did NOT study. really. i have vague hazy memories of me sleeping ontop of stupid andrew er assesment books.

uggh. hmmm.

looking back now, i reallised that i was really a very nice kid then. hahaha. so much has changed since then! REALLY. SOOO MUCH. remember how you guys were looking at my autograph book and laughing at all the nice things that my previous friends??? HAHAHAHA. YEAH. i dont know if its a good thing or not, this period that called GROWING MORE CORRUPTED but i guess that's okay. :)

-gets all emo and miserable and nostalgic-

yeah okay i should go.

2010-01-07T18:14:00.002+10:00

maria is truly my love. hahaha. while i was busy chewing my nails, she sent me this sms;

Veggie-bean, are you still worried? Dont be, kay? Its too late to change anything now, so no point dwelling on it and being miserable for nothing. The lord is with you, and so am i! -huggles- so cheer up! :)

awwww... every hour, i give thanks to god for giving me such divine friends. honestly. even though maria can be a wannabe perv at times, i swear she is really an angel. she and all of jjang. besides just being undeniably awesome friends, they're also godly and remind me of His love all the time! what more can one ask for.

*sigh*

2010-01-07T17:34:00.001+10:00

I NEED A DIARY.
WITH SPACIOUS PAGES
WITHOUT DATES
I DONT CARE ABOUT LINES
IT MUST BE AROUND A5 SIZE
RING BIND OR HARD-COVER
EITHERWAY

I NEED A DIARY.

2010-01-06T14:45:00.001+10:00

grrrrr... pissed like hell now.

no, actually, more of just irritated.

you know how everyone has people in their past that they've forgotten, or has simply vanished out of their lives?

well yeah, sometimes these FREAKS surface again and cause a whole lot of trouble. the sad thing is that they actually used to be your friends, and you spend those quiet moments, while travelling on the bus, wondering what happened to them, if theyre happier now, if they still remember you... stupid, huh.

rah. not going to rant very much here. thing is, someone dug up my WAY OLD dead blog and started questioning my posts. i highly doubt even my current jjbest friends of four years know it exists. -.- ugh. as i said, people change and forget to tell each other. people change, so, so, much! not just me, but im sure you, as well. some people have grown closer, some people have grown more mature, but others... have only gotten more puerile.

funny thing, i even wrote a disclaimer at the bottom of the post, but that seems to have been ignored.

okay, gotta plan for the reunion party tmr!! CANT WAIT!!:)

happier things await me, hahaha. i dont need to explain myself here, because i have real friends who see myself exactly for the mixture of good and garbage that i am. im sick as hell of why some people must find out the 'roundabout way, of rumours and diaries and hearsay. pft. oh well, if you cant take the effort to find me, i wont take the effort to ease your confusion.

why cant you just ask it to my face? cos you're scared to face the truth, or because you like those juicy lies soooo much better?

if you want to know the truth, you can always call me. or find me personally, where supposedly, i cannot hide behind an electronic screen-.- i have not said things i am ashamed of, even in phone calls or letters written in the dead of the night, and i will gladly clarify them if you so bring these issues up to me.

what a way to ruin my new year's day.

2010-01-06T14:43:00.004+10:00

You are a big thinker. You are extremely charismatic, and wish to offer the benefit of your wisdom to the world at large. You tend to see the grand scheme of things, and are able to deduce connections between things that other people miss; these psychological personality traits are the result of the fact that you are the Messiah.

You use your charisma and knowledge to teach others, benevolently helping your fellow man reach a higher plane of evolution through such unorthodox but enlightened means as Psychic Third Nostril Enlargement. You then retire to secluded farmhouses in rural areas, where your followers express appreciation by signing over all their worldly possessions and giving up their wives and daughters to the Cult Leader's "special care."

Famous Cult Leaders include J. R. "Bob" Dobbs

lolololol. GUYS WHO ARE READING THIS, TAKE THE QUIZ! OMG!
i really wanna see who gets what! :)
YOU NEED FACEBOOK FOR THIS THOUGH D:

still. this quiz rather utterly awesomely blasphemeous and here's my disclaimer: that i did not write this, i neither support nor disapprove its content, but use it for the sole purpose of entertainment. it is unlikely that any of it will ever come true; i dont believe in third nostrils. but you may worship me if you wish. :)

2010-01-03T03:10:00.005+10:00

hi guys. its been so long since im online! D:

anyway. feel like utter shit now. here's why:
NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTYING.

hahaha. went for a sleepover at kenneth's place, but the name itself is ironic. both cgs went for this stupid party, and of course, everyone got really high and didnt sleep:D waited for the count down, played Halo (well not really. mostly just died repeatedly), spazzed hopelessly with the tv's Channel5 countdown party, and then watched some fail movies. played ninja! which is a really awesome game, and then played Polar Bear& hunter, but it also failed because everyone kept voting gerald out, regardless of whether he's the doctor. -.-

...finally slept at 5am, but it was pathetic too. the place we stayed in was actually a gallery, or a warehouse, but eitherway its just really big, empty, and with POWERFUL AIR-CONS. BLOODY AMAZING STUFF. i bet the friggin temperature was like, TWELVE DEGREES, or some other stupid shit. We couldn't turn it warmer cos they lost the remote, and we didnt want to off it or there'd be no ventillation. so yeah. felt like Oliver Twist from a Charles' Dickens' novel, freezing into a curl on the streets of london. i brought a sleeping bag, but someone stole it, and xuan ran off to sleep outside the gallery itself. oh wait. she later told me she stayed outside the building itself and didnt sleep much either. i think i got kicked by this random guy who was sleeping next to me, which explains the ache in my legs...

think ive got a fever. hur hur. so much for new year's festivities.

so.......

(bottom line: I SLEPT ON THE FLOOR, WITHOUT A BLANKET, IN A TWELVE DEGREES ENVIRONMENT, AT 5AM. FOR LESS THAN AN HOUR. AND PROBABLY GOT KICKED IN THE KIDNEYS BY OTHER KIDS WHO WERE SPASMING IN THE COLD TOO.)

guess you really can party too hard. ):

NYWAY. since blogging at this hour only involves twitching fingers, i shall relay the Epic NS story of the year here, as a special dedication to my dear maria, who i had for lunch today. :)

somewhere at the end of NS training, it is said that They throw you into a funny foreign country for a week or so, to test your basic survival skills, and general manliness. so here is my friend's tale, he got banished to Brunei. (how apt.)

"They put us (oh yes, in teams of around.. five?) in the middle of some jungle, to stay for a week. There just trees everywhere, so we hiked around blindly until we came to a small river, where we decided to make camp. We took out our parangs and start chopping down some small trees, to make a sort of shelter against wild animals and the rain.

In brunei, every single thing is TIMES THREE the size of singapore. Black ants upgrade from sesame seed sized to FINGERNAIL size. one of them bit me, and i could pull its body out of my arm. its severed head with those bloody teeth were still latched onto my skin. "

Anyway, we're all really tired from the hiking and generally trying to survive, and so we take a break. one of my friends wander off towards the river, probably to take a piss. He suddenly sees two black balls in the river, but thinks he's hallucinating, so he ignores it. suddenly, he reallises those two black spots are eyeballs, and they're coming towards him. oh shit. he starts backing away from the river, only to see the eyeballs connect to a rather large crocodile head, which surfaces and snaps, showing off its fearsome ugly teeth. the guy lets out a terrified scream and dashes back to camp, while the rest of us laugh hysterically after he's explained why his pants are still down.

Elsewhere, in another camp, one of my friends got attacked by hornets. They're not the normal smallish bumble-bees in singapore, but this is the Real Deal, the kind of killer hornets that can kill. So while the team was trying to chop down some trees, he got attacked by them at the bottom of this hill. It gets pretty bad, he's been stung nine or ten times, and he cant feel his fingers or toes...

... when suddenly, in a scene almost out of some Rambo movie, the most buff guy in their team picks him up and charges up the hill, away from the hornets. The poor guy is swollen and in septic shock, while the rest of the team's panicking and trying to not let him die. They frantically call back to base, while replies that they'll send a chopper over. Meanwhile, everyone else is madly chopping down MORE trees to clear an area for the chopper to see them.

Finally the helicopter arrives. They wrap the guy up in some body-bag, while the chopper throws a rope down. After attaching him to it, and pull the guy up, and fly away.... and leave the stunned remaining team to finish their days with one less guy.

After which, they go back to chopping more trees for their shelter.

hahahahaha. champion right. yay for our NS men. :)

2009-12-30T02:50:00.002+10:00

omigosh. havent come across such tripe in so long!!
TO BE READ WITH A RAISED EYEBROW.
ENJOY LIMERICK LOVE!

A slavering pervert named Benny
Sought pleasure in Abergavenny;
His bestial urges
Led him to grass verges:
His girlfriends were woollen and many.

'Tis normal for boys adolescent
To be troubled by urges incessant;
In bed, every night
When they turn out the light
They do things that they find rather pleasant

An elderly priest, Father Vaughan
Knew not what to do 'bout his horn;
Though he could not show it
He longed so to blow it
Along to the tune of soft porn

The PowersThatBe of this site
have vast editorial might
If we wish to swear
We must take it elsewhere
As we can't even say **** or *****.

2009-12-30T02:32:00.001+10:00

I AM GOING TO LEARN MAH JONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND WITH MR ONG NO LESS.
8D

FUN TIMES, FUN TIMES.

2009-12-27T04:02:00.004+10:00

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
"Pooh!" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw.
"I just wanted to be sure of you."
~A.A. Milne

awwww.... reading these things, and also all the stuff on the jjangle just makes me so emo. ): its a good kind of emo-ness, i guess. like a rather bittersweet feeling. then again, i was never very good at those. oh bleh.):
How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. ~From the movie Annie
oh guys, i just reallised something really sad. it suddenly stuck me as i was bathing (yeah lol. the shower is where i meditate ;D) that apart from joey/xuan, i really havent seen anyone else in this super uber long hols! how sucky is this!! I HAVENT SEEN MY MARIA OR RAE AT ALL. even less of talking on msn, and gosh i havent had a spazz hour with rae in so long... almost since before the prelims. oh bleh. i want to go out, and i dont care to do what, but mostly so i can see them!! i'll even agree to sitting at a cyber cafe and watch maria play maple. oh maaaria.. )':

randomly. this came out as we were trying to comfort val.

"... awww. dont cry, *pats back* we're still here, and we all love each other (AND YOU DEAR) so dangerously much. i was just telling joey we're almost lesbians, if not for the fact that we're rather boy crazy (SYLAR, SUPER JUNIOR, ..YOUKNOW?) :D well mostly, except for manda and maria, but i trust them:) ... "

hahahaha. yeah. dont ask. gotta do a new post for the party now. Cherrio!
pictures: Last Recess, Jjang table. fighting over ice-cream and left over mash potatoes. its funny how food is such a touchy part of us.

2009-12-24T05:34:00.006+10:00

(a little ranting in black,
a little gayness in purple.
feel free to skip to the gay bits.)

CANT BELIEVE THIS. ITS 3:35AM, NO SURPRISE THERE, BUT IM STILL UP AND TALKING TO XUAN ON THE PHONE, AND PAINTING AT THE SAME TIME. ITS A BLOODY BIG CANVAS TOO, ABOUT THE SIZE OF 4 SHEETS OF DRAWING BLOCK PLUS A LITTLE MORE. about 40 inches, i think.

ANYWAY. ITS BLOODY CONFUSING NOW. XMAS IS SUCH A LOGISTIC'S NIGHTMARE!! DDD8 (I AM GOING TO START RANTING SO SKIP THIS BIT) I HAVE A FRIEND COMING, POSSIBLY TWO, FOR THE SERVICE... ONLY I WANNA GO EARLY AND BOOK SEATS TOO, AND MY FRIEND IS PROBABLY NOT THE KIND TO QUEUE FOR HOURS. D: WANTED TO ASSIGN THE SEAT BOOKING TO OTHER CG MEMBERS BUT I FEAR THE JOB MAY NOT BE SO WELL DONE. AND NAMELY, THEY WONT GET UP EARLY ENOUGH TO GRAB GOOD SEATS.

xuan and i were just ranting about it, and i guess i kind of freaked her out. a little. got kind of mad on the whole seat-chopping (not meat-chopping, but chope-chopping!) business. it kind of works up a good frenzy in ya, ya know??? 8D nvm.

SO LIKE, WE WERE MULTITASKING AND CRAMMING FOR CHRISTMAS AND BURNING PHONE MONEY, WHEN HER MOM CAME IN. WE'RE BREAKING FOR HALF AND HOUR NOW, THEN CALLING AGAIN AT 4. WHEEEEEE!! SOUNDS LIKE A TRANSIT FLIGHT!! HAHAHA. MEANWHILE.

WENT SHOPPING TODAY, WITH JOEY AND HER ULTIMATE FRIEND-WHO-IS-GAY JUSTIN HEAH. (IS THAT RIGHT??!) really. i believe i have been shopping with a fair number of guys before, and honestly, in terms of gayness THAT FAG BEATS THEM ALL BY A MILE. simply because he's not the flouncy gay, but the Earnestly, GAY kind of gay. its different when they flap their wrists, wear purple, or purposely sashay when they walk. ...this guy:

-hugs his man-bag+other shopping plastics to his chest (not armpit, CHEST.)
-has a genuine LV wallet, stolen from mom,
-searches for pink (not hot pink, not purple, but SWEET PINK) golf pants,
-sandwiches his bags between his legs when digging for his wallet (HMMMM...)
-folds his arms/elbows at waist level when unoccupied
-tells you the brand of his favourite shirt and other articles of clothing,
-thinks the UTTERLY BUFF MALE STAFF at NUM' are flexing their arm muskles in front of him, on purpose
-complains when you think he's posing. (TOTALLY. HAVE YOU SEEN THE ANGLE OF HIS HIPS? HONEY, HIPS DONT LIE.)

*NUM = New Urban Male, swimsuit/beachwear shop. check it out.

yeah. he puts all other act-gay guys to shame. i think he is the real girl deal, even though he has a girl-friend. no kidding. he's sincerely girly but still likes girls, not guys. what a rare and fascinating quandary, cant wait to wrap my mind around it. Juicy!

oh yes. To further top off the christmas gayness, im shamelessly ripping this bit from maria's blog. because it was all my doing in the first place, anyway:D hahaha. people love my christmas letters, though i have no recollection of what i wrote in them. wrote it on a drunken chinese-food-sugar high while in penang, over a cousin's 21st. just hope everyone gets theirs on time.

I've just received a Christmas card (and a housewarming party invatation) from our dearest Veggie-bean!

And boy did her card make me laugh.

For one, her envelope:

As you can see (or not, hur hur), Veggie has cleverly written her address so that the letter would be returned to her, if it wasn't delivered.

Unfortunately....

...it is completely blocked out by the flap of the envelope. -__-

Oh Veggie....

Meanwhile, her card is another thing altogether.

It starts with

MARIA YOU SEXY OLD MAN

and just gets better and better.

I quote:

"do you know why Ive chosen this card, SPECIALLY for you??
(refer to front cover)
..."Round You Virgin..."

It goes merrily downhill from there.

Yep, Veggie is awesome. :D Thanks for the card, Veg. Merry Christmas to you too, honey~

[End letter.] hahaha! it sounds so bad here, it honestly didnt seem as sexy when i wrote it lah. anway, yes maria, if youre reading this- i love you too. in the manly-est of ways, because we both know you need some of that MAAAN-LINESS. 8D hahah. have a great christmas! dont think i'll be posting again till its over.

:)

2009-12-22T00:26:00.003+10:00

cant put this right. ):
says a fellow fan:

(of which i'll just use her words to explain, she says it better than me)

Till SM officially comments… I will not trust a single ounce of this…despite credible sources, I hope they will be not credible for once despite my respect for journalism… We know what have to go thru to be what they are today and I don’t think Geng didnt think hard enough before he submits whatever he submitted. I just saw a fancam from Nanjing Su Show and I felt great that Zhou Mi and Henry is part of the family though without Kibum and my bb… but at least the acceptance to stand on that same stage… its just all unexpected… God… I am tearing up now and I am still at work before X’mas break… And I really don’t like the comparison with JaeChunSu situation. Its all just unfortunate and bad timing.

Other than that, I think I will pretty much die. SJ is my main fandom and one that I so crazily in love. Not that I am rabid or insane… if we see the rabid things fangirls do these days… too many examples to mentioned,I have always thought I am level minded enough… But Suju and DBSK is like 2 of my biggest K-pop love, *if* and using the word very loosely… if anything happens… I will give it all up…coz I can’t take no heartbreak no more… I know bb, boybands don’t last forever but there are who last enough to grow together with us for a long time… K-pop,if anything but just turbulent these days… I sometimes freaks out what I read on a daily basis…

And I just put in an order for Su Show II live album… how am I gonna enjoy it, knowing something was probably brewing all this while?

God… its like just a week before 31 Dec, but I can tell the year is ending really bad for me till all this SM stuffs gets cleared up! >.<>

the worst news, so shoot me

2009-12-22T00:15:00.006+10:00

guys!!
this is really the worst christmas ever.
it is a dark year for Kpop.
the dongbang lawsuit, rumours of shindong leaving, not to mention all the other crappy stuff that happened this year, like Wonbin leaving F.T Island and Jaebum leaving 2PM. but to top it all off...

HANKYUNG IS LEAVING SUPER JUNIOR!!! ;-; D':

ohhh maaan. its like some bad breakup.
feels like my heart's been ripped out and stomped on.
i think i am going to be miserable over christmas.
i feel really tired, i cant smile, and my chest hurts. ):
it feels terrible.

2009-12-14T15:19:00.006+10:00

somehow, people think its a good idea to bitch to me about the shortcomings of my friends, because... what. i can go scold them about it for you?? ugh! its SO not going to happen! i think friendship means standing up for the other person, even when she's not there to hear you do it.

ALRIGHT ON A LIGHTER NOTE
the indian neighbour upstairs just dropped a toy ball down again. i think its their daughter Trisha, she's only two this year! she's so cute. but anyway, the dad came downstairs to the garden to try retrieve her toy. its an orange rubbery one this time, so clifford saw it and started playing with it!

AND THEN. instead of ringing the doorbell or asking the maid to help or anything, the dad turns to clifford and says, "gimme the ball! gimme gimme gimme! bring the ball here, clifford! ball ball ball!!"

....yeah. me and the maid are laughing hysterically, and we're hiding behind the christmas tree too, just in case he sees us. he sounds especially funny cos of the indian accent. like a bollywood song, how catchy. REALLY! hahahahah. maybe its too much time spent speaking baby with his daughter. its so adorable. [DISCLAIMER] dont worry, i dont mean this as anything racist or what. its just gay things like this tend to happen in my neighbourhood. i do love indians, and i have friends who are, so fret not.

anyway. i think the poor guy's given up now. clifford, being the dumb blond, didnt do a thing and went on chewing the unfortunate toy.

i was gonna upload a really really REALLY cute picture of my golden retriever cliffie, but he's just being unglam now. so here, have some really cute malteses! this is shanna's dog Angel, who stayed with us for a period of time while she moved to malaysia.

2009-12-13T22:48:00.006+10:00

JUST GOTTA SAY THAT
I HAVE BOUGHT
THE MOST AWESOME, DROP-DEAD-SEXY, SMASHINGLY WONDERFUL-

ED HARDY SHIRT.

OHHHH YEAAAAHHHHH.
NEVER UNDER ESTIMATE A FLEA MARKET SALE, M'DEARS. 8D
(really. you never know what you'll find, should some noob auntie try to sell you an original Nine West for just 15 bucks, or you chance across a pre-loved valentino. its happened before.)

... well now that i think about my find,
its really quite God's blessing, not just flea-luck.
i remember drooling after one of those ever since shannonker started wearing one, and benita had the EH shoes, and greg bought the jacket. its not that im envious of any of them, heheh, the madness isnt that strong yet. its just that it looked REALLY REALLY GOOD on all of them! ohhh manaan.

Anyway.

when i went to church today, i had just a bit of money in my wallet, for tithe and stuff. then i heard about the flea market. i honestly wanted to splurge it all instead, and just delay tithing by a week - but then the pastor preached a really convincing message on tithing. ohh man. talk about divine intervention... hahaha. so well, gave up $20 of it. just then, gen told me that mom gave us $10 bucks ytd but she forgot to mention it. so like WHOA. suddenly now i have enough to afford the ed hardy. ^o^

isn't God just a YAY?? 8DD

i guess this is kinda like him proving our (/my/) faith in the little things.

[awhilelater]
ohhh. groann.
suddenly my mom wants to decide my future, and she's forcing me to write out my entire list of school choices, from jc to poly to 6 points to 36 points. okay just exaggerating. but i have to plan out a poly course, just in case i dont make it to a jc. while i really do trust God that i will, i still cant help feel a little apprehensive... its the bloody 'O's afterall. i know i studied for it. but ive seen hardworking psle kids mug like mad, and they still dont get good grades... okay, the dream grades that they ought to be getting! ohhhh... DDDD8

-willcontinuelater-

2009-12-13T05:37:00.003+10:00

randomly, because im SO not leaving this shit on facebook...

quizzes. the bane of my existence, but somehow really attractive at 3am;D
so yeah, here's two of them that ...

ugh whatever. cant think of an ending, or adjective.

WHICH GUY WILL YOU ATTRACT: EMO/SCENE
WHICH GUY ARE YOU ATTRACTED TO: SKATER

hahahaha. i cant help think its all so cliche.
isnt skater boy an avril song??
oh well.
..yet, apropos. oh bleh. cant fathom the science behind attraction.
Q: what did the snail say when riding on the tortise's back?
A: wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

2009-12-10T03:09:00.004+10:00

ranting again. stalking neil gaiman on his blog. utterly envious of everyone who got to go for the signing tour, or ever met him in real life. oh and also of his dog who gets walked by him almost everyday. and amanda palmer, who is his girlfriend, and probably gets to hear his wacky ideas every day of her life. dont know if he has kids. his god-daughters are such lucky kids. still stalking him on his blog. ohmigosh. cant stop. he's an quite an old man but i love his brains. oh bother. that is disturbing- i like old man brains. hahahaha. must be a maria-thing. okay the creepy love still doesnt stop me. his posts are so funny! and they're actually written by him, which is a rarity for most famous authors. still cant stop reading it and feeling envious. i really want the sandman comics! though they'd make my mom flip over like a poodle then vomit blood at their... alternative content. still. aaaaaggghhhhh!!!! envious envious envious envious envious envious envious envious envious!!!! I WANT THE SANDMAN COLLECTION1!!!!!!! DDDD':

and neil gaiman in a bottle.

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggghhhh... -love-lorn look-

reading: PRIDE & PREJUDICE & ZOMBIES - Jane Austen + Seth Grahame-smith

eating: XIAO LONG BAO. JUICY!

listening: SWEET TANGERINE - The Hush Sound. wish i stole more songs from joey.

drinking: milo. too sweet.

doing: MARIA. HEHEHE. eeeeee. uggggh. still cant resist saying that.

watching: nothing in particular... the usual author updates on FF.

2009-12-08T17:39:00.002+10:00

oh hi. im in penang. and ive spent waaay too much money.

still. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT PRESENTS TO GET FOR PEOPLE OR ELSE I WONT GET ANY AT ALL. so to whoever's reading this, yes if you want something you must tell me.

okay gen is screaming again. grrrrr. she's so impatient sometimes. ):

bye.

2009-12-05T05:55:00.012+10:00

LOL. NEW MOON IS GIVING ME THE ASDF ROFLOLS!
BECAUSE,

Bella cuts her head open. Jacob solves the problem by pulling his shirt off...FOR NO REASON.

Jacob leaps through Bella's window...she randomly molests his six pack.

Jasper wants Bella for dindins...Edward decides to throw her through a table and into a wall...(nearly cutting her arm off)...in an effort to protect her.

Virgin America. Nuff said.

Frolicking in woods. (I lol'd)

Half nakedness. All the time.

Bella in general. (the nightmares...???? aaaahahaa)

o yes and the-

"I'm coming."
"... I don't want you to come."
"But I want to COME"
"YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO COME."

life is good.
ps, the glittering Rpattz icon says, 'maybe he's born with it. maybe its MAYBELLINE.' 8D he should be the new face for smooth flawless skin.

*******************

hehehe. im having the flu, but after reading these new moon shizzes... haha. feel waay better already! and of course, partly due to the many new updates on the jjangle!:D i thought it would be quiet since the big sleepover's over, and everyone's overseas. oh well, love these suprises. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

speaking of which. [this part is similar to the jjangle post.]

im going away to malaysia on a short trip, and i think i'll do christmas shopping there. so, GUYS, please tell me what you want for christmas! REALLY. dont say 'anything', cos then i'll really get you ANYTHING -meaning whatever i fancy- and that will be disasterous.
~~(meanwhile. everyone can have some illegal chewing gum.)~~
also, im having a housewarming party on the 4th OF JANUARY NEXT YEAR, though the date MAY be changed. chocolate fondue, and maybe guitar hero, if rae would be so kind.. hahah. cant wait!:D

i'll have to sleep soon ): before i go though... going to repost these jjang sleepover pictures here!(((: manda did the collage on picasa! i love it! though maybe poon can send me the originals so i can facebook them... hmmm.

speaking of which. CHRISTMAS CARDS. i know hardly anyone does this anymore, because there's quicker n cheaper things like email now, but this year i'll be sending christmas cards! its gay, but makes you feel all special and tingly inside:D hee hee.

anyway, im only sending to those people whose addresses i have, so if you dont mind one, TELL ME YOUR ADDRESS NOW. NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW.

and randomly, because i went out with the joeys to tan...

yeah.

more sexy gay pictures on facebook.

2009-11-25T03:00:00.004+10:00

you know, life in the holidays gets really random. you shop and sleep and eat and tv and then vegetate in front of the couch.. heheh.

i am going broke. too much shopping.
am actually missing school! at least there's structure.
yesterday, i slept at 4 am and woke up at 3.
pm.
i have $46.65 worth of coins. its heavy.
my hair is still wet! )<>
gotta repaint my nails, red red red.
phone going crazy, starting to lag.
getting so bored!
feel unfit. i cant walk up an escalator anymore.
need to find hairspray, the powerful, nonshiny kind.
gen's on a plane. so unfair. ):
val's clubmed is gone! that's sad too.
friday is either guitar-heroing or cycling.
Mrs A. Heng's dad has shock white hair! :0
just found a treasure trove of purple hairties.
need a good book to read! or a fanfic!
i HAVE to stop bingeing on good fics. :)
daddy wont teach me hokkien, im getting deported to grannie's to learn there instead-.-
i miss jjang already. especially the old man.
and the vallo. and the joe-ums. and mandas. and.. awwwwww.
bleh.

HANKYUNG IS ONE SEXY PIECE OF MEAT.
(8 8D :D (:

oh hmmm. updates!

(IMPORTANT) THINGS TO DO.
Creating Shannen's TEAMEDWARD shirt, she's paying.
Painting that eagle for dad. once again, paying.
Moderate 160,000 word FABLE...into a friggin book!
~~THEN PRINT IT, BECAUSE IM SUICIDAL LIKE SO.~~
Find matching photos of.... HAHAHAHA. secret quest, right?
- - - - - - -
AAAAND... PUT MY ROOM INTO BOXES,
COS IM REPAINTING!!!! WHOOOOO!:)

yay yay yay.

minimal amount of money left, so all shopping expeditions are temporarily suspended, until further funding floats my way. need to save for christmas, you know!

hohum....

okay fine. i'll put this here since those 3 people dont read.
the lookalike photos im trying to find are of BenTay, TheoSoh and AronGoh. cos. they friggin' look alike. im serious, they do! its creepy, and they dont know each other. but when i get the pictures, i'll put them here so its easier to understand so, and meanwhile i'll rule the pathetic world which can simper at my feet!! muaaahahahaha.

okay, waaay- too much AU voldie moldie ffs. i swear they're addictive, once you start, you just cant stop. putting the link here, so all genuinely naive or linguistically hardcore people can fall for it. includes YOU, maria. love, love!

sigh. have to sleep soon now. i'd write about sheryll's smashing housewarming party, but it doesnt make sense to tell it since its over. :/

all i'll say is that we camhored, did pictionary (which breezed cuz we're all art students+teacher), grooved to Mika's new album and then, played IHAVENEVER-- . hahahah. a different type of fun~ hmm. A SEXY FUN. (8

maybe cos stong was there :D

ohwell. goodnight!!!(:

PS,

&MARIA YOU BETTER UPDATE OR ELSE
and who agrees, mr ong kind of looks like a Pimp. ..

2009-11-16T03:45:00.004+10:00

"HE POOPED IN YOOCHUN'S SANDALS!"

"WE ARE SO KEEPING HIM."

WE ARE FUN THINGS.
LETS MAKE LIFE GO ROUND.
dont know why im so happy. i love jjang so ridiculously much.
cuz... what to say! we are simply awesome. perfect, friends forever. period.
when i see them, it feels like ive come home. its like those sappy love songs.
only its all strictly platonic here. but ...
It's so unbelievable, And I don't want to let it go, Something so beautiful, Flowing down like a waterfall. I feel like you've always been, Forever a part of me. And it's so unbelievable to finally be in love, Somewhere I'd never thought I'd be.

god i love my friends. and im being a right sap at 2 am. must be the abominable hour. why am i such a die-hard romantic -_- grrrrr.

2009-11-16T02:02:00.001+10:00

today only proves one thing: money is STILL, the greatest aphrodesiac. //

tmr. sleep over again. study hard, party HARDER.

ON TAKING BIOLOGY AS A SUBJECT

2009-11-12T21:05:00.004+10:00

bio mcq was fkk horrible. the FYS cheated my feelings! boo hoo.
dont know why some people are so obsessed and utterly passionate about becoming doctors and doing medical internships. it breaks my heart, really. :D

~~its like, they go round saving the world one sick person at a time, by what, slitting open their bellies?~~ sorry if im being so graphic, bio does that to you. like that time when it rained, and we had to watch that caesarian (with the friggin' quadruple kids), and the woman's bloodied navel, and the metal knife plunging under all that folds of fat to draw out a wrinkled prune of a baby... over and over and over four times!! until she was just an indescribable mess of deflated skin and gushing blood. and some white pus but i'll pretend i didnt notice.

kids, THERE ARE JUST SOME THINGS IN THE WORLD YOU CAN'T UN-SEE. DDD8 DONT TAKE BIO!! ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A HYPOCHONDRIAC, HAVE A VIVID MEMORY, FEAR OF BLOOD, FEAR OF SHINY CUTTING INSTRUMENTS, OR JUST WEAK AT HEART. OR HAVE A BAD MEMORY. BIO NEEDS LOTS OF MEMORISING.

ANYHOO. praise god for such a thing as yeap yi xuan's blog!

slack crossie physical training=pure torture for a real unfit noob like me. sighh so demoralising. plus i had to endure nearly 2 hrs of unbearably boring and beyond me amath. trigo. urgghh i died over and over again today and i was so zonked that i just fell asleep during the trig thing. moral of the story: no training before lessons lol tmr is 2 tuitions in a day day. ah sighh, life's tough. even during the hols...hahaha but if i'm crazy enough, i might go running tmr. hmmm.XD

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHE
its tiring to read without punctuation marks. i feel out of breath. but she totally sums up what i feel about trigo! (not really actually, that was last time, but yeah. feeling's mutual, bub.) particularly the bits about dying over and over. reminds me of how people head bang over and over.
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH

-more fiendish giggles on a milo-induced haze. hmmm. -

2009-11-12T00:59:00.003+10:00

warning: disturbing content.graphic mental images may appear that are hard to erase later.

4:30 am, 10th november.
veggums: ohmigod. there are friggin cats mating, and i cant sleep! why are they so bloody loud!! @#$%^&%$#

maria the lecherous: cos the penis (@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@)

veggums: WHAAAATT... HAHAHAH. SICK HORNY CATS. id almost say theyre exhibitionistic in nature! urrrrgh!

maria the lecherous: lol its ture, mating is extremely painful. so theyre not really horny after all. after mating they will roll around to further facilitate the process, did you know?

veggums: what the hell.... DID YOU KNOW SHARKS HAVE TWO DING DONGERS? hahahahah. i CANNOT believe we're playing the Do-you-know game! and about this topic too! ARG! 8S

maria the lecherous: lol!! only you and i can pull it off. oh, which one do they use? is one a spare? does this mean they have orgies?? do females have two holes too?

veggums: HAHAHA. EAGER LITTLE BEAVER, ARE U! no, females just have one long hole, so both fit in. and they like it rough, apparently, cuz theres lots of biting and acrobatic positions. unlike cats that cuddle after its over. WAIT WHY AM I TELLING YOU THIS!?? :0

maria the lecherous: huh. they must have tiny weiners if both can fit in at once...

veggums: hehe. um. why dont you do some research on this, and tell me? :D -waggles eyebrows-
awhile later
(alright, i think they have tiney weiners anyway)

maria the lecherous: HAHAHAHA
awhile later
veh-juh. im bored, entertain me.

veggums: hmmm. watch avenue q online? i dont know, hunt for animal porn? or, how bout STUDY?? (8

maria the lecherous: no internet access. and studeied already what, what else is there?

veggums: HMMM. RUN AROUND UR NEIGHBOURHOOD MAKING CAT MATING NOISES?? 8D

maria the lecherous: -releases hysterical burst of laughter-

veggums: hahaha. ohh you. how bout going to xuans house?the poor thing is probably as bored as you. you two could come up with new ways to hunt her arse of a brother.

maria the lecherous: -pictures the two of us as red indians hunting a boar i mean her brother and shooting him with plunger attached to rafia string i mean makeshift arrows-

maria the lecherous: hey veg, whats the result of cutting a sperm duct? male hormones are not circulated! does this mean sterilised men are not horny??

conclusion: dont study for too long. it does weird things. and dont talk to maria after studying bio. you know, i love her, i do, but we really shouldnt be allowed to interact.

"its for our own good!"

SIDE NOTE: the testes produces and secretes the hormone, vasectomy or emasculation has nothing to do with the sperm duct.

2009-11-09T18:48:00.004+10:00

oh my oh my oh my!!!! 8D
JJANG PARTY IS COMING AND I CANT WAIT, WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

(studying for my mcq is quite out of this universe now. i feel like ive got jumping poufflesqueaks in my blood! 8D ) anyhoo. there's so much admin on the jjang blog now. grrr! feels like im reading an- a - really colourful essay. (:

WHAT TO BRING. obviously the necessities (in case some people don't even bring these because they didn't know what necessities are, necessities are like CLOTHES, UNDERWEAR [i had to make this clear because some people think underwear isn't included when i say clothes], HYGIENE STUFF LIKE SOAP and SPECIAL MEDICATION IF YOU'RE ON CHRONIC DRUG USAGE LIKE ME), if you snore bring earplugs for all the rest

then well. little bit of rae's sarcasm and vallo's Really Proper Words to get me along. thank goodness val's in guides, so she knows how to run a camp. wheeeeeeeeeee~! other updates: still not much. i can feel the dust on my fingers when i type for this post, its been so long.

oh yeah! my MONEHH THING. $$$$!!!
i am such a money face. or is it money eyes? bah. but im proud that im so honest like so. :D
guess what! out of maria's ridiculous rewards for O lvl L1R5, theo's getting even better rates. unbelievable.

maria:
12 pts - $50
11 pts - $100
10 pts - $200
9 pts - $400
8 pts - $800
7 pts - $1000

but theo... WHOA. THAT GIRL.
10pts - $1000
9pts - $2000
8pts - $3000
7 pts - $4000
6 pts - $5000

LIKE, WHOA.

if i were my dad, i'd say they were spoiling the market. (and then pout.)
but since i'm me.... ALL THE BETTER! hahahaha.

ps, incase the picture doesnt show, its Key jumping up and down like a small boy after too much sweets.

2009-10-31T03:21:00.003+10:00

must get Dashboard Confessional's CD!!!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh....
sounds like a josh groban and jack johnson slammed together with rainbows and magic.
its just one of those miracle voices.

(omg! capslock friday! i havent had that in... so many fridays! :O wonder what happens if i write my o lvl paper in caps. hehehehee.)
:D

so, tell me what's happened?
emath papers were easy peasy tricky. makes you feel really suspicious of AX2 + BX + C. ): but yeah. its all hype, dont worry too much kids. (:
amath papers were ASDF*! hard. but solvable, if you dont loose your head to panic (which i pretty much did, until i gave up on the question, then i could see how to do it.)

yes, i am such a last minute genius.

meanwhile. parents are all schrappy on me, while i still love my friends.
joey keeps telling me to be nice, while maria just fails as usual.
studying with amanda. crashing with xuannie.
not sure what im doing with yixuan. but ummm.

kk. chem was easy but i think i made waaay too many careless mistakes.
physics was KILLLERRRRRR!!!
but it usually is for me. which is why
I AM GOING TO GET MY A1 FOR BIO! (:<>
grrrrrr.

watched WildChild on HBO today, and OMG! their prom thing!!! AHAHAHAHA. i should have watched that before my own. pftt. anywhoo, its sooo funny!! especially that crazy hakka war dance thingy. why dont we ever do that in singapore? its madness, but it works like smooth shit. its the best thing we'll ever get to a pep talk... that works. and alex pettifer is quite cute. (or maybe this is just gen talking.)

blehhh. CANT WAIT FOR OS TO BE OVER.
THEN WE CAN HAVE JJANG CHALET
AND DO ALL SORTS OF SCANDALOUS THINGS. (8<>
heheh. you never know what happens at these sleepover things. ironically, it really IS a sleepover. as in, no one's going to be at the jjungle during the day time cos we all have church / dongbangday / shopping / a flight to catch, but we're only meeting back at evening, for barbeque swimming and maybe an x-box. if nana's brother doesnt find out ;)

i dont think anyone will get any sleep.

hehehe. more juicy details after the exams. art d&p was a breeeeeeze! having an all-nighter does work. why am i such a last-minute person!? D:

ah well.

(inspiration from Dashboard Confessional's Stolen. its my theme song of the moment.)
'toodles!(:

2009-10-18T22:40:00.004+10:00

feel like i could shoot some people today.
wearing Passarella Death Squad
for days like this, where you just wanna SHOW the world
'fuck off, and stop using up all the oxygen!'.

life's often like this.
you wear this not cos you're a homo
but more for a libertine statement
you wear it just to piss your dad off

2009-10-12T18:39:00.004+10:00

currently: addicted to norah jone's voice.
watching: so you think you can dance?
thinking: not really.
feeling: really strong, sudden msn withdrawal pangs.):
weather: raining outside. chilly inside.

others

found: MARIA I FOUND YOUR TABLE FOURTEEN!!!
lost: time.
messy: is my table.
blue: is my uniform
metal: is really tricky to draw.

2009-10-10T23:07:00.001+10:00

"Sokka, what exactly do you think we can do?" Katara sighed. "We've walked around the palace so many times, it's getting boring. I don't want to spend the day just sitting around and doing nothing."

"I don't know..." Sokka shrugged. "Maybe we can go out to the town?"

"Why don't you go shopping?" Iroh suggested. "Nothing says fun like sales!"

"But we don't have any mon-"

"I think I will join you!" Iroh announced. He stood up and ushered for them to follow him. "Let me gather some soldiers and arrange a ride for us into town. You two go and get ready! We'll meet at the central court yard in twenty minutes!"

"But, Iroh..." Katara began hesitantly.

"What do we need guards for? Will we be attacked?" Sokka asked.

"No, of course not," Iroh said as he lead the way. "They're for holding our bags!"

2009-10-04T01:40:00.001+10:00

grey and black like indefinite storms
more nightmares than i can ever remember.
people, always dying, flying, sitting, crying,
decapacitated, eviscerated, dismembered,
bubbled in acid, burned, or eaten, in them.
its never me, but im always there.
emotionless de sade.

psfthaw. once again,
the world is more fucked up
than i thought possible.

She closed her eyes. Sleep came mercifully fast. In her dream, Yue was there and she said I have to do this. Katara watched the princess walk calmly into the water of the Oasis. She saw Yue's royal finery pooling around her like the petals of a lotus, and heard Sokka pleading as the waters of the oasis flared gold, turned to molten fire. When she looked down the koi fish Tui and La were two dancing dragons that circled Yue's glowing, disintegrating body. I have to do this, I have to do this. Yue said calmly from within smoke and flame. I have to do this.

2009-10-04T01:37:00.003+10:00

i dont know where along this path i stopped being who i am. (or, used to be? this is quite up for debate. english isnt really made for expressing emotions.)
it just feels shocking when i finally reallise it... heheh. it feels good to get back.(:
after all the talking ive done this week.. hmm.
mind all over the place. feet going no where at all. answers still not coming.
but things are looking up.

“What’s the point of PR if you’re going to half ass it? Honestly!”

2009-10-01T01:11:00.002+10:00

a typical conversation in the household:

walking past gen's room:
val: hey. NICE PANTS. (they're the pink ones with happy bunnies on them.)
gen: you suck!
val: ..well even if i suck, i'll still suck better than you! *catches the pun then makes pervy maria laugh*
gen: -shrieks- mooomm!!! val's-
mom: shhhh!! greedy heart is on!! i cant hear what that hu li jing woman says!
dad: nom noms. quiet girls, go study or something.

:D

hehe. my dad sounds like a total pig, doesnt he? D8 well yeah, he's just really stressed these days. ):

anyhoo. i reallise i havent exactly been posting my mind here anymore.
i do feel like im bottling up alot of stuff, that's bound to explode... D:
still, it hurts, really, everytime people unknowingly ask about it.
i just cant bring myself to tell anyone.
even though i know they're all there for me and stuff, all five of them.

i dont know what im getting into.
im avoiding msn like the plague,
and in school i cant face rae or sheryll anymore,
just seeing them reminds me more than anything.

;-;
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

small consolation for me though!
thanks to my sudden hermit lifestyle, ive stumbled upon a whole trove of excellent zutaras. its amazing. these bloody writers are totally screwing with my mind, with the crazy emotional and immaculately detailed way that they write. they make you want to think more about life, while making you feel sort of emo and zen at the same time. like i said, they're experts at mind fucking. (honestly, reading ozai's mind about his child abuse and then ursa being a siren? no one can pull that off, but they did, and with much aplomb too.)

im not putting their links here, even if they are seriously amazing.
this stuff isnt suited for below eighteens, and for once i have to agree.
despite my shocking-and-liberal-experiences-are-the-best-way-to-learn stance.
azula's torture scenes take you on a mental spew, and you literally scoot back from the screen. (; // D8

the link is yours only upon request. i strongly suggest clearing your schedule for the day, its emotionally exhalirating but mentally exhausting. i'll prescript only one chappie per day, less if you cant take it.

2009-09-29T13:48:00.004+10:00

It's been a while since the two of us talked
About a week since the day that you walked
Knowing things would never be the same
With your empty heart and mine full of pain

So explain to me how it came to this
Take it back to the night we kissed
It was Dublin city on a Friday night
With vodkas and coke, I was getting insomniac

We were sitting with our backs against the world
Saying things that we thought but never heard
Oh, who would've thought it would end up like this

But everything we talked about is gone
And the only chance we have of moving on
Was trying to take it back before it all went wrong

[chrs]
Before the worst, before we met
Before our hearts decided it's time to love again
Before too late, before too long
Let's try and take it back before it all went wrong

There was a time that we'd stay up all night
Best friends, yeah talking 'til the daylight
Took the joys alongside the pain
With not much to lose but so much to gain

Are you hearing me? 'Cause I don?t wanna miss
That you would drift on memory bliss
It was Grafton street on a rainy night
I was down on one knee and you were mine for life

We were thinking we would never be apart
With your name tattooed across my heart
Oh, who would've thought it would end up like this

But everything we talked about is gone
And the only chance we have of moving on
Was trying to take it back before it all went wrong

If the clouds don't clear
Then we'll rise above it, we'll rise above it
Heavens gate is so near, come walk with me through
Just like we used to, just like we used to, yeah, yeah

Let's take it back before it all went wrong

Before the worst, before we met
Before our hearts decide it's time to love again
Before too late, before too long
Let's try to take it back before it all went wrong
Let's try and take it back before it all went wrong

you know, its quite like
our special song. kind of. when
i dont have time to talk, i feel
like i dont even have time to breathe.
but when i hear it, it cheers me
to think how you sang it to me,
over that night a long time ago.
dont think i've forgotten you,
you know you're still my friend.(:

yeah, im sucky and sentimental like that. ):

2009-09-28T14:42:00.001+10:00

omg. crazy new plan to leech money. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS CRAP?

To: anazergal@hotmail.com
CC: tanshock@yahoo.com
Subject: $ rewards
From: tansh@sg.ibm.com
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 2009 11:41:03 +0800

Maria

If you make these grades for your O Level finals,
I'm willing to incent you with these $.
Pls do your best.
Aggregate

12 - $50
11 - $100
10 - $200
9 - $400
8 - $800
7 - $1,000

Best regards,
*MR TAN* (AKA, DADDY DEAR. HER DAD IS BLOODY FORMAL, EVEN OVER PRIVATE EMAIL-.-)

HEH. ME AND POON WERE SHRIEKING SO LOUD IN OUTRAGE IM SURE THE CHANGI AIRPORT STAFF COULD HEAR US.
if i were maria, i'd bloody well make sure i get my 7+ points!! apparently her dad is really stressed (moreso than her) that she wont make it to some jc or whatever dumb institution of higher learning. snort. i wish i had parents like that.

anway, veg: what the freak! how do you get parents like that!?
maria: training, dear. its all about conditioning them to llllower their expectations! tell them from young not to expect much and reward more. works every time.

VEGGIE WOULD LIKE TO SAY SHE LOVES MARIA WITH ALL HER HEART AND WOULD GLADLY BEAR HER LOVE CHILD~
VEGGIE WOULD ALSO LIKE TO ADD THAT SHE DID NOT VERIFY THE GODFORSAKEN CRAP COMING OUT OF MARIA TAN GOON GAH YIN'S RUSTED COTTONS AND WOULD LIKE TO DISAGREE.
THE REAL VEGGIE WOULD ALSO LIKE TO ADD THAT SHE WOULD ONLY KEEP MARIA'S BASTARD CHILD IF MARIA WOULD GIVE HER ALIMONY EVERY MONTH OF 12358183499329494184792081294738984731`8974992 WORTH OF GALLEONS. THE MINUTE SHE STOPS PAYING, THE KID GOES TO THAT RECLUSIVE ONLINE LOVER OF HERS WHO FEEDS MAMMALS TO HER 3-INCH SNAKE.

(maria, any comments?)

MUA MUA MUAK I WURVE MARIAAAAA

yep, definitely her. sounds just like the drool trickling from the mouth of jabba the hutt. droople.
(maria cannot further defend herself. she is currently vibrating helplessly in laughter while poon threatens us both with evisceration and exile.)

anyway. about o lvls. stress is seriously cracking our already-lost nuts for now. being with my gay male relatives - maria and poon - only do slightly to alleviate the condition (seeing as we share the same waveLENGTH). i have to write some bloody essay after this. toodles!(:

postscript: maria, if you grope me one more time, i swear i will do more than dislodge your kidneys. and yes, those ARE your kidneys. your stomach is not found in the left corner of your ribs.)

2009-09-26T22:52:00.008+10:00

i think, i love seeing
the other side of others.
regardless.
time cant help
this one.
when i do,
you still
shock deep.

it might not be such a good idea anymore to read minds.
who knows what you dont want to find.

the heart is both the strongest and the weakest.
exactly 3 jumps down.you'll feel what i mean.

guard it well.

2009-09-26T00:05:00.000+10:00

Don't offer a neurotic happiness - he'll never take it. There's a bout of misery keeping him perfectly content.
~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

2009-09-24T02:45:00.003+10:00

'Nothing encourages creativity like the chance to fall flat on one's face. ~James D. Finley'

dear lord, please let this be true. i cant feel more crushed and liberated than i am now. its a whole new experience, and ive not decided whether i like it yet. it is unlike any other, and not entirely... good. it is painful, costly. but i shall learn.
at least let this be a pyrrhic victory, and let me win the other battles.

it is like... conquering your enemies, yet loosing your king. it is like ... selling your soul for everything else, but your soul. how can i possibly put this agony into words? every where i turn, i see echoes that bring fresh nausea. it is like betrayal. breakup, only tres' worse, because i caused this to befall me! o, what excuses can i lie to myself? i have failed. despite warnings and second chances. there is no where i can run to escape my own mind. i am trapped. i am crushed. i am alone, all alone.

i really dont want to talk to anyone. its like that, its just that i cant. i cant bring myself to feel happy, and i wont be miserable on your parade. i know talking to my dear friends always make me smile, yet this time.... it only serves to remind me how they are in another world altogether.
i'll tell val about this later.

maybe to get better, i have to get worse.

2009-09-21T19:56:00.002+10:00

When some folks agree with my opinions I begin to suspect I'm wrong. ~Kin Hubbard

pan is here when stong says my idea is perfectly fine.
pan asks if he's just patronising me! i feel like crying.
pan is also here when he says i need to work harder.
pan whispers i am no good. replace fear with anger.
maybe i'll work better this way.

pan is here.the harder i ferret, pan just burrows deeper.
i cannot drive it out of my mind.
it is the beginning of the end.

-------------------------------------

today, i was sticking more works to the art room walls. doing stuff like climbing on top of a table with my shoes on. not really thinking. sugar rushing. squeeze blue tack. push it onto the wall. squeeze more blue tack. i promptly stepped off the edge and fell straight to the floor.

it is the beginning of the end.

2009-09-21T03:32:00.004+10:00

put these two together.

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. (Carol Sobieski and Thomas Meehan, Annie)

and

Neurotics dream of a good life, or a great suicide note. (Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966)

i guess quoting poetry is better than dumb twitter.

mood: stressed and spacing out, on purpose.
listening to: Alphaville - forever young.
eating: chocolate puffs and rice.
drinking: hopefully not dirty paint water
watching: you
doing: your mom.

2009-09-20T01:54:00.003+10:00

okay, i HAD to do this. its from darling marliyah's blog from ages ago.

[begin]
Thursday, August 6

Ripped from Charmaine's blog. Because she thinks this is oh-so-hilarious and I just wanna see Rachy's, Poon's and possibly Veggie's expressions.

Sharlene : i am so relieved. “The members don’t want to disband, but just feel that the contract is ridiculous. Right now, the things each of the three members want is a little different, however, the relationship between the members is still unaffected.”
Jeffry:
That just means that they are going to disband. Euphemism, my dear, plain euphemism.

---

Sharlene : keeping the faith forever ♥ ♥ DBSK saranghaeyo~
Jeffry: I thought they disbanding liao. Then make four new bands: D, B, S and K. Then you would have 4x3 more guys to flap over!!!
[end post]

HAHAHAHA. WELL MARIA. HERE YOU HAVE IT:D the first one sounds EXTREMELY like chloe.&because we're both pessimists at heart, her second favourite word is euphemism. i cant remember the first, but it isnt that. (something nastier, probably.) the second convo... ROFL. SOUNDS LIKE AN EQUATION. 8) i hope they dont disband anyway. { wibbles for effect:3 }

2009-09-20T01:05:00.005+10:00

'WE'RE 4G, LET'S OR-GIE!'
talk about class slogans. im ashamed to have unknowingly helped stupid rida come up with hers:D

anyway, quick post! its break time between NON-STOP-BREAK-BACK-PAINTING. oh manzxz.

Longest Day '09 WAS OSSUMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

really!! even though it was chaotic as hell. yeah.
first, we kinda had some violent game castle building, somewhat like capture-the-flag and some other mmorpg type which i cant rmb. -.- k, involves use of balloons, chairs. in every class there's soldiers and builders.
how to win? build the most castles, on other classes' home ground.
how to build your castle? STACK CHAIRS LIKE MAD.
how to kill people? POP THEIR BALLOONS! our class cheated and ganged up on select targets.)
lastly, how to get rid of castles? GRAB THE CHAIRS AND PLACE THEM IN RANDOM OBSCURE POSITIONS AROUND THE SCHOOL.

8D

to add to the madness: it rained. like, BUCKETS. wet within three seconds. its like those soppy reunion scenes from taiwanese dramas that involve copiously unnecessary amounts of water. but being slightly off-kilter from studying previously, everyone only ran about faster and stabbed more balloons.

....

okay eventually, they had to call it off, of course. ms ho casually sauntered in with an umbrella, all nice and dry, and ordered everyone to STOP THIS AT ONCE AND COME INTO THE SHELTER! in the end, the spiffing game was abandoned. ):

other subsequent 'class-bonding' events were:
dry shampooing and hair sculpting in the rain. (totally ironic, we know)
blowing a tissue-race. blow blow blow. OUR CLASS WON ALL THREE MATCHES-.-
imitating statues in the concorse. then faking pictures.
sliding (more like rolling uncontrollably) down the mg hill. they pour soap and water over first, then place you on a float and shuve you down the bloody hill. i swear the other vp's eyes were popping.
catwalk + design of a CATTY design. oh this was interesting! hahaha. we forced the normally snarky chloe to be the model. ;D and so i designed a REALLY SEXY DRESS FOR HER. HAHAHAHAHA. OH MAAAAN. i had in mind the huge curvy structures from alexander mcqueen. well it was fun sticking it all onto her, those huge paper boobs. i hope she'll forgive me): but anyway, ~~(BECAUSE OF MY BRILLANCE)~~ WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

of course, it helped that chloe decided to be really catty and REALLY STRUTTED. hehehe. never gonna let her forget that! but yeah, we had TONS of fun in that one. if the picture comes out in the school mag, i'll post it here.

kay, gotta get back! ((((((:
i MUST finish stupid art. im quite scared. ive bloody missed church this weekend for it! if only it were'nt so! i miss church. how horrid.D8

Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker. ~Author Unknown

picture from Pasir Ris fish farm! LTR: roxxane, rae, veg! we're all secretly cats, we love to catch fish. (;

2009-09-16T03:30:00.000+10:00

career fair in schl! cant say i feel real smug:D
i think. amongst my peers... i know exactly what i want, and how to get there. only question is, will i get there? hrmph. still. i think ive planned out my life for the next 10 years. Plan A, B, and possibly - C... yeah okay, i reckon i am a little paranoid:D

meanwhile, im actually doing art. NEED PROGESS!!

....

heh. caught soof oggling at joey today. that's just sick-making! i feel a triffle outraged and VERY disgusted. it was just a minute cos joey had to discuss something with that creep after assembly, but you know - she's kind of HEIGHT CHALLENGED and mr soo is just so tall. not to mention today's strange interpretations of working attire. ~~if anyone's doing any oggling at joey, it should only be maria!~~

hehe. but... i know she knows. but its kind of... boh pian. you know? sigh. i feel really disturbed): no one should have to see their best friend go through that ;-; AND WITH A CREEP TOO. if its stong or some cute guy she likes, i might actually be inappropraitely happy. ARGH! I NEED TO GO BLEACH MY EYES NOW.

2009-09-14T01:53:00.000+10:00

AND WHEN THE SKY IS FALLING,
DONT LOOK OUTSIDE THE WINDOW
STEP BACK AND CATCH THE FALLING STARS
DONT RUN AWAY

i feel like a right git. D;
you know, when you've done something incredibly ass-worthy and just wish the ground could open and swallow you up? yeah this is one of those moments.

2009-09-12T21:13:00.002+10:00

omg. GUYS!!! READ THIS!! AHAHAHAHA. GOOD GALLOPING GRYFFINDORS, EVEN IF YOU HATE HARRY POTTER, YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS.
(guranteed a laugh, from snide snorts to full out rolling-on-floor laughter.)

presenting,

'THE ORIGINAL NAKED QUIDDITCH.'

To: Fred & George Weasley
From: Harry Potter
Re: Re: Stuff

Ginny's on the inside track. As for your fears: I've only just begun.

I mocked Voldemort
Ask me how!

To: Harry Potter
From: Ginny Weasley
Re: Ask you how?

What do you mean you "Mocked Voldemort"? Doesn't everyone?
Gin

To: Ginny Weasley
From: Harry Potter
Re: Re: Ask you how?

No, I actually "mocked" Voldemort.

Hey, Gin... how would you feel about being my right hand when I conquer Voldemort and take over the Death Eaters? Create a new regime of utter evil. You're a Weasley, you've proven to be devious and ingenious... and you have past history in this area.

Whattaya think?

As for the mocking:
"I tink I taw a bid bad Moldiemort
I DiD, I DiD
I did tee a bid bad Moldiemort"

HP
I mocked Voldemort
Ask me how!

To: Harry Potter
From: Ginny
Re: You DIDN'T?!

Harry! You DIDN'T?!

- Ginny

To: Ginny Weasley
From: Harry Potter
Re: Re: You DIDN'T?!

I did. Why? What's the worst he can do? Jump up and down shrieking "Kill him! Kill him!"?

- HP

I Mocked Voldemort
Ask me how!

To: Lucius Malfoy
From: Lord Voldemort
FW: Re: Re: Minions

Malfoy!

KILL HIM! KILL HIM!

Your Lord & Master,
Voldemort

2009-09-12T04:11:00.000+10:00

she's just an ordinary girl. i wouldn't know her.
but with such devotion you speak of-
tells me she will be above special.
your love has made her beautiful.

--------------------------------------------------------
oh man. art is gonna be due soon - 22nd sept.

im so scared.

honestly. i started off enjoying art. but suddenly now, its turned into something scary and monsterous. i dont know how to explain, its something you just have to go through. its like having a cuddly pet has grown fangs and 6 feet and overnight, a carnivore threatening to eat you. you know? okay maybe not. this stupid feeling its just something you have to go through.

anyway, life in the meanwhile is in the strange lane. jia hao lent me some really informative books.. though im not sure i'll use it for good and not abuse. heh heh. otherwise, finished all my holiday homework, except art. which ironically, is what i usually look forward to and complete first. this feels like betrayal, only it isnt really... possible?

meanwhile, some oldies music! :):):):) this has been keeping me company while i study late. pity, they dont make songs like these nowadays. its all meaningless scratchy techno sounds with words that repeat. boring!!

here's Forever Young by Alphaville. though ive no such inclination, songs of old are awesome like so, and have power to convince you otherwise:D i love every line. its like i could bold and colour all of it on the back of my science pad! warning though, THIS GUY HAS AN INSANELY HIGH VOICE. more extreme than mika... pftshw. its a little unbearable at first, but it kind of grows on you. maybe its just cos he really means it? hmm:/

Lets dance in style, lets dance for a while
Heaven can wait were only watching the skies
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst
Are you going to drop the bomb or not?

Let us die young or let us live forever
We dont have the power but we never say never
Sitting in a sandpit, life is a short trip
The musics for the sad men

Can you imagine when this race is won
Turn our golden faces into the sun
Praising our leaders were getting in tune
The musics played by the madmen

Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever and ever

Some are like water, some are like the heat
Some are a melody and some are the beat
Sooner or later they all will be gone
Why dont they stay young

Its so hard to get old without a cause
I dont want to perish like a fading horse
Youth is like diamonds in the sun
And dimonds are forever

So many adventures couldnt happen today
So many songs we forgot to play
So many dreams are swinging out of the blue
We let them come true

2009-09-06T00:50:00.000+10:00

randomly,

He spent the rest of the night in the bed Blaise summoned for him, deciding who he hated more; Narcissa or Weasley, coming to the conclusion that they were both evil cows, his mother dressed better, Weasley had better oral hygiene, and that he had the most abominably disastrous luck to have to have lived with both of them.
…………………………………………………………
As the days passed, Draco was elated to learn of Weasley’s habit of being in short supply around Blaise’s apartment; she was gone for most of the day and hid that sodding face of hers in her bedroom or a tin of food most of the rest of the time. Were he not a Malfoy, and had he not other things to do, he’d have jumped for poncy joy.
-.....................................................................-
Chowing down over chow mein, it was Colin who brought it up. The young ex-Gryffindor was a bit unsettling at times, but completely and disgustingly as infatuated with Blaise as Blaise was with him. Draco tried not to think about them when he ate.
“So, Malfoy, are you still searching the job market?” Colin asked, breaking the silence with what he hoped to be a conversation starter. Draco frowned a bit. “Yes. No luck yet on that account.”
He heard a dry chuckle to his left, and already knew it would come from the she-devil perched cross-legged on the counter top like a domestic monkey, but not as well-trained. “What’s the matter, Malfoy? Male prostitution not paying as well as it used to?”

MUAHAHAHA. poncy joy and abominally disastrous luck. got to love the language.

2009-09-02T00:16:00.000+10:00

if what's best for you is what's most painful, would you still like me to do it?

i dont know.
so many times, i face this in so many people who confide in me.
sometimes, i wanna wring your neck for sheer stupidity, but i cant.
sometimes, i just wanna drag you away from what's hurting you. but i cant.
do you want me to tell you the truth?
do you want me to do what you couldnt - what's best?

or how about this.
so many times, im holding your dark secrets.
the little things you make me promise not to tell.
the strange questions you ask are extremely telling of what's on your mind...

it hurts me, but i dont wanna make that choice for you.
im not like that! when i promise not to, i really wont tell.
but then... am i being a true friend? or am i too caught up in being your playground buddy i'll take your secrets to the grave - both our graves... well- what really is a true friend? all that smut aside, would you hate me if i helped you, but it hurt? what can i do! i feel so helpless. eitherway, i loose you. im not experienced enough to try both. ive only stood by silently watching you descend into madness.

tell me, answer me. what would you do?

2009-09-01T17:20:00.000+10:00

Hitherto it had touched him on the intellectual side alone; but now his imagination also was engaged, or rather, enslaved.

-Robert Louis Stevenson DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE

2009-09-01T14:32:00.000+10:00

sick again. ;-;
sorta.
i just fell asleep after lunch yesterday.
slept through dinner, breakfast, and past lunch.
(well eating what's left of a late lunch now)
19 hours of time wasted.

but its probably what my body needs.

ive had non-stop partying since friday o_o
friday is EXHAUSTIVE shopping with val, running from Borders to Far East (we actually found a wig shop!!!!!!) then to Plaza Sing (to get jade's present). Then Baptism study, all the way back at KAP. then jade's birthday party at a bowling alley which looks more like a club. until midnight, i think.

saturday gets better. morning is spent traipsing around bugis. finally found Haji Lane and the great mysterious Flea Market! Quickly left for emme's birthday party. ate lunch there, jumped on the stupid bouncy castle... then caught a lift to Paragon. Had dinner (no actually, just one xiao long bao) at kenneth's farewell party, then ate ben andjerry's. reached home utterly bone tired. didnt help that there were rather traumatic things between what im saying here.

sunday. church only, thank goodness. came home, made chocolate dipped apples for teachers. and a black top hat :D as well as Gen's unicorn costume. what an annoying girl. if she weren't living in the same house i'll have successfully ignored her incessant screeching :D

monday was the worst. half-school, teacher's day celebrations. it was fun dressing up with rae. (who brought a really, really, BDSM TTM whip. the small kids were staring. we stared back. they quicky dissapeared.) walked to kap. ate brekkies. walked back up the bloody hill. com lab closed, and mr ong left alr (so how do i get back art?) felt like it was gonna rain, so i made yixuan leave first. ugh. then waited for the rain to come.
it rained.
i walked down the hill when it was cooler. bussed the long way home. with some weird acsi guys staring at me. (what,you've never seen boots before?) studiously ignored them. reached home. bathed. ate lunch. then fell asleep until this morning. missed yesterday's dinner. darn.

i might post about HAJI-LANE-FLEA-MARKET some other time. all i can say is that ITS EXACTLY LIKE DIAGON ALLEY. long. crowded. mostly-one-way-only. with loads of queer things! cheap, generally. interesting. quirky. BUT HOT. HOT HOT HOT!! got burned by melted lip balm which felt like boiling sulfur oil. still... AWESOME. must find the next one and go for it!!

(other things)
new firefox! the vid hosting is so much better(: and the collab with Dailymotion? hahah, smart move! will be extremely handy since so many people watch their serials there.
grooveshark working again!! YEAH
blogger down though. GRRR.
art due tmr. really upset. GRRR.
rachy is depressed. no surprise, its over art too. BAAH.
matt is in trouble. sigh. feeling anxious for him makes me feel tired. its funny how i cant make myself otherwise. i always feel troubled if my friends are.

OH GOD OH GOD. i didnt reallise pearlyn is uploading her pictures. doomed to hell. wait, i already feel like im there anyway.

(randomly)
i bought two new shirts! which are both sleeveless. amongst other things. such as a metal playboy snuff box and an old black clutch. and a really expensive present for jade. bah.

"Peeves is a Percival! ironic isnt it."

2009-08-28T03:38:00.001+10:00

i wish i had more time. more time with you all, everyone! more time to just... exist. no, living like this does not constitute as living, barely. your physical needs are met but your brain is tamped shut.

FINALLY, blogger is working again!
i can upload random pictures after... FOREVER. I DONT KNOW. i saved short codes, but not enough to host images. baah.

this is my half-break i guess:D busy rushing my art prep! its almost as bad as the O level questions already, only i guess.. not as intense, yet. gosh, i am such an ASDF. im attempting to finish 9 month's worth of work into two weeks. suicide or what? Heavens above! but i guess this is quite the everyday miracle in art:D
(.... and im ranting, sorry. stop me again if i am.)

short updates for now! its 1:45 am, not that its late for me, but ive got a long day tmr!!! 8D
me and val have this insane plan to go traipsing around orchard, from far east to plaza sing. on the scavenger's list:

(1) visit Gramophone! check out their stores of korean CDs (if any... :S) vally wants to find BIGBANG! lol. she's obsessed again.

(2) Borders Bookstore! heard about a legendary spin-off -
PRIDE & PREJUDICE & ZOMBIES.
hahahah. the name says it all. (btw, this really does exist. 20th century gothic novel. cant beat that, you faggoty twilight!) Got the tip-off from a really random source, Status magazine. (click on Pg 22) which is actually only sold in Indonesia. its amazing the things you can find online, really... (8

(3)FIND A WIG SHOP. lol kay this is kind of hard to explain. dont ask. 8D

(4) Get jade, maria and emme a present! all at once... ;-; bah. going broke. Since apparently the rest of the world cant find the time to shop all of a sudden and so they're forcibly sharing presents with me. Maria's name is only there cos she saw my SUPER-LONG-AGO birthday present for val and demands one as well. (for proof of my love, huh??? DONT THINK I DONT KNOW MARIA:D) and emme cos its her birthday this sat.

yup that's all for now! actually, i have loads i'd love to tell you guys... only its so hard to type this shit out on the net. im sure when i meet you, i'll be telling you anyway. MOST OF IT. HAHAHAH. the blog is for the boring rants! (which you should skip if you know what's good for you.)

k going to sleep now, hopefully. waking up early to get a head-start on shopping, with val!!
YEAH MAN, FINALLY OUT THE HOUSE.

(:

ps, XUAN IF YOU ARE READING THIS. i still have the bloody 4-page letter! YOUR REPLY FROM BEFORE THE PRELIMS. man, how am i supposed to give it to you! ARGH!! no, i wont be arsed to climb the bloody hill up school just to give it to you. i suppose you'll just have to wait for sat, ehhh? MUAHAHAHA.

2009-08-26T01:03:00.000+10:00

oh my goodness. there should be a contest for the funniest OOC fic!!

here anyway, LOOK AT THIS. OMG.

********************************************
Hermione had spent the day hiding from Snape and crying like a lovesick teenager. She had been quite angry with herself for the way she’d acted. Now, however she was angry at Snape.

With Draco under the influence of the infatuation potion, and Snape and Ginny drunk off their asses, it was left up to her to apparate them all to the Burrow. Not an easy feat, even for a witch as talented as Hermione. But she’d been able to do it without splinching anybody.

It wasn’t fair that Snape got to drown himself in his sorrows while she had to remain the designated apparator.

It was just their luck that every single one of the Weasley brothers along with Harry had chosen tonight to go to the Burrow for dinner.

Molly had been surprised when she opened the door, but had quickly ushered them in, eyeing Professor Snape warily after he told her that she was a nice lady, who made very good pudding.

“Look who’s here,” she announced leading them into the small kitchen/dining room that was packed with men.

The only thing that stopped the guys from jumping Draco was that there wasn’t enough room to move. They all started yelling at once.

“NO! There’s too much red!” Snape wailed, covering his eyes with his hands and ducking behind Hermione.

Silence.

Molly shook her head at him, and then turned to the table of angry men.

“Honestly! We’ve already talked about Draco being an Order member, and I expect everyone one of you to treat him with respect,” she said, glaring.

They began to protest, but Molly held up her hands.

“The next one to yell at him will be sent to bed without dessert!”

They all turned to look at the chocolate pudding, debating whether it would be worth it.

It got quiet again as the men at the table silently glared at Draco, deciding not to risk their dessert.

Suddenly, Ginny blurted out, “Draco and I are getting married!”

“What?!” Molly yelled at Draco in a rage.

Snape giggled and wagged a finger in her face.

“No pudding for Molly!”

Then he laughed like he’d said the funniest thing in the world.

After a minute of realizing he was the only one laughing, he stopped and pouted.

“I have no friends.”
************************************

HAHAHAHA. RIGHT-O. LOL OKAY NOW GO FORTH AND BE SCARRED FOR THE REST OF YO' MISERABLE LIVES! :D

2009-08-24T22:42:00.000+10:00

LOL. OKAY.
watching pearlyn + jarrad vs mao& gang slug it out on cyberspace is rather disturbing.
albeit stupid. reminds me of when me and gen used to do that too. seriously, ask those who were around then - kenneth, esther, julie, yixuan.

you guys are all amateurs, really.
quoting scripture?! HA. that's a deadend for sure. people have been arguing over it for centuries without conclusion. you'll just be labelled as heretics (and rightly so, i believe. i can almost see you foaming at the mouth as you claim divine powers or whatever) and carted off to the assylum.

anw, this is what i feel.

JARRAD, IF YOU WANNA LEAVE THEN JUST GO LA! no one's going to stop you with pearlyn around, i think that's quite clear now. if you cant decide and are waiting for someone give you a kick in any general direction then i suggest you bloody make up your mind like a man and at least go somewhere, or i will give it to you. take pearlyn and get a move on with life, find a church that agrees with you, but stop dithering and arguing with everyone!

really. some people have too much free time to pms on the world. if you gotta do your thing, then just go and do it! dont loiter around like an unfed hen. stand by your choice and learn to grow up.

the ghost ship

2009-08-23T21:24:00.000+10:00

just when i thought i could have a little respite..

hell.
why do i even hope.

you wanna know what plagues me, when im alone at night, trying to sleep in the dark?!!!

imagine you are on huge, magnificent cruise liner, silently gleaming, lights ablaze, like a jewel in the dark. its sailing in the middle of the atlantic, all you see are endless blues. you think its surreal, so peaceful, there's nothing that can get you out here...

when it strikes you. there is NOTHING. no one. you're alone on a ship in the middle of vast nothingness. suddenly, you reallise that something's wrong with the ship! its tilting to its side. no, its sinking. it is going down. you see the windows on one side slowly submerging below the dark water. the lights start to flicker and then the lower levels go out in sections. you rush madly to the port, then starboard. as the ships sinks lower you find yourself trapped on the stern next to the masthead, the highest point left as the deck starts flooding.

there is not a soul on the huge silent ship except for you. there is no other light or ship in the surrounding miles of darkness, no where you can swim to. as the ship begans to break apart, you're forced to watch its lights dissapear bit by bit, feel the metal groan and buckle beneath as the weight of the water crushes more of it. you've got no where to run. you cant swim forever. jumping off is not an option. agonizingly slowly, you're being forced to watch yourself drown, trapped on a ship in a nightmare you cannot wake from.

that is how i feel. you forget its there, on a bright noisy day. but when youre alone at night... life is one huge oceanliner, and im stuck on it. pretty though it be, its full of flaws which let in water. (i cant run) and i cant even kill myself cos i dont wanna jump off into the sea of hell. its as if obligation ties me to stay on the ship. i cannot run from this life. all i do is conjure more illusions that the ship isnt sinking and im on land afterall.. but we're going down and i cant stop the feeling. the holes in this ship are irreparable events that i cannot control, as more of my dearest friends drift off to the deep, unreachably gone, and as the few i have left get hurt by the icy waters. i cant protect them, so i force my face into a pleasant lie and hope my misery will not add to theirs.

after today though, life has just gotten more cruel. i used to think that if i were to watch myself drown, i could at least buy time in my dreams and keep squeezing a few more weeks, telling myself i'd be strong. but now, i have an exact date when my life will end. On that day, i'll loose reason to struggle, after im sure ive lost everyone dear.

I will let go of that ghost ship, and find eternal rest in the Elysium on Earth, beneath the cold waves where the ice bites but covers and no one needs to feel anything.

2009-08-22T01:14:00.000+10:00

MUAHAHAHAHAHA.

ITS IN THE MIDDLE OF PRELIMS, BUT I DONT CARE

PHYSICS WAS EASY AS SHITTTT!!!!!!!!!

AHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHA

RIGHT-O.

ENGLISH ORAL WAS BREEZE TOO! 8D
REALLY! i just ate like, half a packet of ~~van houten's~~ before it started.
i could feel the sugar and caffeine rushing around my veins when i was waiting for my turn... hahahahah. it was actually fun, talking nonsense to those examiners. i know they love it too. ^w^

OLD MAN TEACHER: so, tell me what 'city-life' means to you.
ME: OH. makes me think of Desperate housewives and Sexs and the City.
(you could see his eyes buldge. apparently i forgot im not supposed to behave like an art student who's used to liberal pictures and offensive themes.)

(some time later, after i was rambling how city life may not be so good cos it encourages greediness and some people just dont know where to stop climbing and be contented and okay i should stop confusing you all now-)

OLD MAN TEACHER: but what if these people actually like their jobs?
ME: well, my dad likes his job alot too. esp when the big deals go through. but sometimes i feel he gets too stressed over it- on some days, he'll come home and tell me if he had another choice, he dreams of being a farmer.
(its true. sadly.)

SO YES, ORAL WAS BLAST! i tell you, its what's most toleratable about exams. of course, after one line of extreme blasphemy i'll quickly mix in some logical, mature reasoning and several useful quotes. then they'll look at me approvingly and score me higher. generally, a bit of peakiness in a whole lot of regurgitated textbook always does the trick.
:)

right, i wanna go and enjoy my night now! :) my first night of slacking because all my major papers are over. Did an Emath and Amath paper today, paper 1s for both! im so hardworking. HAHAHA OKAY WELL TILL NEXT TIME...

THE PAST WEEK(S):
chem was screwed up.
barely finished lit and didnt for ss.
amath is a liability.
emath was suspiciously easy.
physics was a delectable fart of fresh air.
art was almost perfect.
randomly, i got a commendation award.
seems like im evenly balanced out... heh.

i wish i had more dreams.
those that i do get i rarely remember, unless they involve people i know.
then... (blush) its always SOMETHING REALLY NICE. sweet. i wake up with a
smile on my face, for the rest of the week. but i only had like...
two of those. ever. i really need another soon.

*`*`*`*`*`*`*

(WARM BLUE)
you know how it is, when you're in love you just cant sleep?
its cos your reality's finally better than in your dreams.

2009-08-16T17:31:00.000+10:00

“You can’t take your eyes off her,” Blaise said, her soft remark easily cutting through his sarcasm. “She smiles, and you melt. She laughs and you’re as good as a puddle. She cries and you become suicidal. She looks at Potter and you become apoplectic. She talks to any boy who isn’t you and you turn satanic.” He tried to protest, but she shook her head. “Forget it, you poor, miserable sod. Remember who you’re talking to.”

HAHAHAH OKAY ITS SHIZ LIKE THIS THAT BRIGHTEN MY SODDING DAY.

2009-08-16T00:39:00.000+10:00

for art prep, i was searching google for deep sea caves... when a picture of saddam hussein came out -.- hur hur. google can get kinda random o_o but if this is some political joke, i dont get it.

2009-08-12T00:06:00.000+10:00

Take That- Rule the World
Uploaded by Stella78. - Explore more music videos.

new song, so whatareyouwaitingfor - fave and rave it! its a closing sound track from the Stardust movie.

ps, the sound doesn't really start till 20 seconds into the movie, so um yeah. dont go all frantic and adjust your sound settings just yet:D

so anw, I just watched stardust on HBO!!! (8
dont know why im such a sucker for these films... its just the magic dust about them that makes you fall in love with it, you know?? (nod even if you dont.)
ah heck, i think i'll love anything that neil gaiman touches.
-SANDMANCOMICSOMG-

kay, dont know why i fall so hard for these ... different, eccentric things. i have really diverse tastes, somehow i find myself attracted to the most queer and rare objects.

OH WELL. :D

since blogger's recent shitty crash, ive been forced to ferret through my older posts for codes on how to colour and font-change. its so awfully cumbersome and time consuming, but its gotta be done. still, while i was looking through some of my last year/month's posts, i came across this one -

AMATH WAS SOOOOO SUCKY!!! ARGH!!
DIE. DIE. DIED.
im in a royally beastly mood.
"...three words who popped up the most frequently were SHIT! DIE! and FAIL!"

WELL SAID MARIA DEAR. i swear, the minute the paper was over, 'fail' was on everyone's lips. how glorious. i think i panicked and screwed up all my questions, im pretty sure i'll get a single digit and counselling for the rest of this year.

its like during the entire amath paper, my mind kept screaming,
'ABORT! ABORT! ABORT!'

HAHAHA.now that i look back upon it, the situation doesnt seem to be as terrible as i thought it to be.
i still hate amath,
but i think ive actually improved,
even if it was just to spite mr lee..
though now, its exam time again, and im just as gloomy, but i cant help think - what if im naturally pessimistic and love making the worst out of things? i know ive explained this to angel, but we cant make heads or tails of this either. bah, humbugs! ~~just when i was feeling happy :D~~

ANW, TODAY WAS FUN!
did stupid thing in the canteen instead of studying. amanda, vallums, me and xuannicakes ended up talking and wasting time instead. we only did... ONE BLOODY CHAPTER OF SS! and then we ran onto the main road (deserted) and started playing ball. ITS STRESS I TELL YOU. i dont know why ive become so juvenile, playing with toys and all these hand-clappy games! its fun, but i think im loosing my mind.

[...or too much vitamin C? ms lau actually gave us a long tube of sucking pestles for our exam-present, but the four of us + tiffy ate the whole lot up this afternoon. we're bound to get diarrhoea and brain fever, too much nutrients i tell you.]

but before i go, i'll like to close with this song that's kind of been in my head. it only seems appropraite, due to the past few days:/ hahah. as the swedes say,

halvsanning halva-tanke
dess stallbild per avoidable framtid.

i'll love to put its video here, its so much better...
but i have a strict policy of one vid per post.
i cant stand people who just spam me with videos,
though i put up with it:/

its for YOU, love!

I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared
After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here
So if you're asking me I want you to know

[Chorus]

Don't be afraid
I've taking my beating
I've shared what I've made
I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you
So if you're asking me I want you to know

[Chorus]
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting
All the hurt inside you learned to hide so well
Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
I can't be who you are

2009-08-10T02:25:00.000+10:00

i dont wanna loose another friend, i cant.
not for stupid reasons like this.
not because other people seem to think you arent worth saving...

ive been there too, and my friends wouldnt let me go, even when i begged for death.
its time we all became true friends, and do what is best for us, not what feels easiest.
i already lost a friend to this madness, i dont wanna loose another.

screw the devil.
may he experience the most painful of all - συγχώρεση.
im so irritated people can place their love for humans over their love for God. i'd let you learn from your mistakes but few are that strong, and i dont think you are one of them. and i cant afford to let you hurt me when you start blundering around.i know you'll come around soon, but im so tired of fighting this. what can i do? the minute i stop swimming, i'll drown. i dont wanna die just yet.

2009-08-09T17:05:00.000+10:00

ANNOUNCEMENT I WENT BOOK SHOPPING WHOOOO!!!!! 8DDDD

hehe. Borders must be getting really desperate, saw twilight series there for like, $11 a book -.-

anw, bought $68 worth of books! MY DAY IS DONE :D
The Shi'a Revival - Vali Nasr
The ULITMATE fairies handbook
In Love with a serial killer (Paul John Knowles) series.
Atlas of the night sky - Giles Sparrow
and gen's SUPER-EX inspirational (actually more of bull-shit fuelled) daily diary of some sort:D BUT ITS SO FUNNY AHAHAHAHA.

okay anw.. yeah i know my choice of books are rather strange. even though i know you cant be bothered, i'll just rant about one book - the ShiA revival, here.

i picked up the SHiA Revival, cos its about muslim culture- the clash between the Sunni and the Shi'a muslims. It also touches on american foreign policy, and other modern day middle-east issues.
i think its rather important to know all that, even though i am not in any way, arab, or have a muslim religeon, nor will i ever be tested on this:) i just do not wish to be a hopeless bigot. i believe in an all-rounded knowledge, which includes a little background knowledge of Islam,
(shockingly) despite my Christian upbringing. its just that there is a glaring lack of resources or information on that topic in our (methodist-based) education. or maybe just in my school. but for so long, i've been trying to find books on other religeons or cultures in the school library. ive even checked in the restricted sections... but there doesnt seem to be any apart from the common preachy-sort of hand books on christianity.

i cant help but feel its as if... they're hiding all this (meaning: anything that doesnt concern christiany or goodliness or fluff) from us. there's not much on so-called 'extreme-topics' like war, racism, any riots, any thing on astromony, economics, politics or much philosophy either. its a nice spread... but its TOO SAFE and EXACTLY what they'd want girls to read, nothing less, but nothing more. sigh. must be edna's ultra-conservative pickings that cause us to be so... sheltered. ):

oh well, im done ranting. maybe someone can lend me something of interest, that isnt sold in bookshops or libraries:) i'd be most grateful.. haha.

meanwhile, what i'll be looking for is some neitzche or freud. :D those on dreams.. ahaha. i havent read any of those, but from what i heard it might be worth a look:)

2009-08-07T00:36:00.000+10:00

i find myself in the strangest situation yet...

(no, it doesnt involve maria)

somehow, im trying to explain to some 18 year old that YES people do bat in more ways than one, and NO we do not fill out forms before sexs. GAH CAN THIS BE ANYMORE AWKWARD?

thank god for msn.

and, hwa chong should really step up on its sexs ed. -o-

2009-08-02T01:21:00.000+10:00

I WANNA LEARN RUSSIAN!

must be anna karenina and Tatu. hehe.
i wanna learn how to speak it. write it. to use it! its kind of like.. an acquired taste, you know? it was hard to even accept it in my books at first, but after awhile... :)
it kind of just, grows on you!
:D
it is still a very sexy language. hahaha.
(its the language of the fur hats, bombs, harsh winters and sexy women. rrrr!)
and im sure there are some very colourful swear words in there.
;)
but yeah that aside, i think it'll be cool. :)
& it'll be something different.

ANW BEFORE I LEAVE AND SLEEP....
here's something funny from the fanfiction world!

I was originally a Harry/Ginny fan, who (every once in awhile) Dipped into Draco/Ginny. But now, Draco/Ginny has become my OTP--since book 6 really. I just felt that JKR made it too easy for Harry. He just looked beside him one day and went "Oh! Ginny. Hey, I like you and you like me! Let's kiss" I loved the whole 'chest monster' thing--don't get me wrong. And Harry deserves a bit of happiness... but, I just feel that in real life, nothing is ever that easy.

And Draco is just such a FABULOUS BAD BOY that you just want to hug and squeeze him until hearts and flowers pop out of his ears! Not to mention, that our Dearest Ginny is very good at hugging and squeezing, lol.

hahahahaha. dont cry now, you stoic HPGW fans! i love a good AU:D HAHAHAHA ALRIGHT, IF YOU DONT GET IT AT ALL, JUST PRETEND IM SPEAKING RUSSIAN ALREADY.

2009-07-31T20:24:00.000+10:00

OHMYHEAVENSABOVE.
WATCH THIS AND DIE LAUGHING.

I TELL YOU... JUST, "OMG"

this vid's theme is on the "3 beautiful contestants", which are featured to showcase their... 'talents' for the suju audience. [btw, that smexy host is called hodong. you'll see them take potshots at him later so remember the name :D] anw, the first pretty lady... turns out to be a wrestler, who trashes even my kyunggie with some SPECTECULARLY SKILLED PWOAAAHHHHH!!!! MOVES! (GO GIRLS!!) the second is.... HAHAHAHAHA. okay the second was just weird. (go see. or rather, HEAR.) but they cant beat the third lady on weird...

COS ITS A FABULOUSLY ~~PROFESSIONAL~~ MAN-IN-A-DRESS ACTOR-
who prances around quite convincingly, actually.
FEEL YOUR EYEBALLS POP LIKE YOU'RE IN OUTER SPACE! HAHAHAHAHA.
oh god. its a university acting major on the loose! :D
ive got a feeling all guys are this devoted to acting (OR IN DRAMA CCA, WINK WINK)
would be just as willing to shred any sense of dignity in a flash for a good show. ive got a feeling some of the people i know already did. COUGH-GERALD-COUGH. okay maybe not so scandalously. this is quite the PG13 thing, but its not like you havent seen it before:D

ENJOY BLEEDING YOUR EYES OUT WHILE LAUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY, GENTLEMEN!!

2009-07-31T18:22:00.000+10:00

gah, why does my mom think that nagging at me will only....
how shall i put it
...

fuel my love for pursuing academic excellence?

ARGH!
oh gods. i cant even begin to say how much it isnt working. -.-

blogger is still screwing on me
and now facebook as well.

2009-07-26T23:31:00.000+10:00

those OOC fics must be growing on me. sigh. i think im starting to like some of them already DD8

hurhurh. prom!! there are 90 zillion pictures on facebook so take your time to scroll through mine, i know i look gorgeous :D
(as soon as i can be bothered to upload them, lol)

prom is such an over-rated affair. it was tremendous fun, but kind of failed, because there wasnt enough food. its like one plate per 10 people at a table? when it was over i still ate at Macs.

[and blogger is screwing itself up again. i cant upload pictures, so wait for the next post! :)]

“It’s ten-o-clock, Granger. Officially past curfew. All lights in the castle that are not in dormitories or common rooms go out at this time.” He had sounded entirely unfazed. “Wouldn’t expect you to know that, though,” he’d added then; “let’s see, Astronomy ends at nine, so you’re probably tucked all snug in bed by nine-thirty every Friday night, dreaming of Arithmancy and Runes…or maybe, if you’re feeling extra naughty-” and he glanced up for just an instant, a flash of quicksilver eyes, sending a trademark smirk her way- “studying by wandlight under your covers. You bad girl, you.”

HAHAHAHAHA.

2009-07-24T01:20:00.000+10:00

Listening to: the space heater
Reading: this
Watching: you
Playing: hard to get.
Eating: bread and olive oil
Drinking: diet coke

feeling moody.
the winds of change blow around again... and this time its shaken me.

2009-07-23T01:39:00.001+10:00

oh god. this has to be the most OOC thing ive ever read. (apart from the one with harry potter and the ninjas...)

“Listen here you fat, ugly stupid, poor excuse for a wizard! You actually cannot fire Miss Granger, because she works for me now. In addition, there were no witnesses to any crime, not as far as I see. You WILL NOT file charges against Miss Granger, because if you do, you will answer to me, and believe me, I have taken down stronger men than you, and have come up smelling like roses. (WHAT THE HECK?) Furthermore, you pompous, overgrown troll, (SOUNDS MORE LIKE RON'S TYPE OF GRAMMAR) if you so much as speak to Miss Granger again, or even look her way, I will see to it that you do not live to see another day. (ISNT THAT JAMES BOND) Don’t forget, you are dealing with a former Death Eater here. I still have plenty of friends in low places.”

hahaha. right. chinese was a fine piece of shit today. when maria and poonie started discussing the answers i felt like i was gonna collapse, i had so many wrong): gaaah. it was horrible. im off to drown my sorrows in ninja fanfics. ))))':

do you know, NINJA (as in, NINJA loans, there is such a thing) could also stand for NO INCOME NO JOB ASSHOLES? HAHAHAHA. my dad can be a downright retard at times, dont know why he invents this stuff, ~~probably to make me more interested in economics.~~ he says its used when banks stupidly lend money to people who have no income or job or any means to pay you back, yet insist on borrowing unmentionable sums of money to go shopping, or buy cars, or land that's just depreciating in value anyway.
(THIS IS ONE OF THE REASON FOR THE CURRENT ECONOMIC CRASH. THE OTHER BEING, A WELL-PLANNED SCAM, SOME GREED, AND OVERLY-GENEROUS AMERICANS. SHEESH.)

2009-07-21T01:45:00.000+10:00

oh gods oh gods he's so hotttt, i cant look!!! aaaaahhhhh i think i could die on the spot now and hold my peace forever:D hurhur. cant believe this,im still not over him.

anway, today in school they made us do a really pointless essay - Our Ideal Life Partner.
what a waste of time. im contemplating,

a) be a good girl and write a bunch of lies for ms bong to love. [ie, something about must love small animals and being a blood donor]

b) explain that its impossible to find a hankyung, but im not settling for anything less, and therefore i refuse to get married.

c) explain that my goal in life to be the world's greatest gold-digger, i'll marry the oldest but richest man around, and then poison him for his money and in the process explain to everyone that really, i loved him very much. only that's as likely as anna nicole smith marrying for love.

d) or well, just not do the paper and fail my O lvls. HAHAHAH RIDICULOUSLY, BUT IT STILL IS POSSIBLE.

gaaaah. what should i do. please vote, people:D or i will go with (a) and end up confessing to pastor later.

something old,
something new,
something borrowed
something blue.

2009-07-19T23:03:00.000+10:00

I HAVE MACS AND CHEESE TMR!!!
NYEH NYEH NYEH BE ENVIOUS!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA

OKAY IM GOING CRAZY.

random things today! /this weekend, arrgh i dont care/

ONE! THE DOCTOR'S WORD IS LAW.
cos... Jiahao showed me his random
"its-official-the-doctor-thinks-im-mental /
skip-ns-letter letter.
OMG.
they really can make you sound like a drooling lunatic.
i kinda want one of those.

TWO. CHINESE LISTENING ON WED. im actually more scared of listening than oral...
cos i dont listen very well.
tend to drift off and dream.
- SHOPPING TODAY!
its so fun to shop with the other val! :D
though i have undescribable feet pains now.
but its so cool, i think i made her try on half the shop at zara,
(specifically, all things black and sexy.)
its like that ALDO ad, where there's two girls in the changing room-
and about a zillion sexy shoes between them.
:D
...
then well, joey hue got pissed and dragged us to wisma.
BTW I LOVE THE SHOPS IN WISMA WHOOOO! wanted to try everything on.
no time. too tired. marched to cine,
MET SANZEN -WHOOOO!- THERE.
she made me buy some emo necklace -
but im sure i'll be damn sexy with my dress. okay. im ranting.

three, GOING TO BE VERY DEPRESSED IN THE NEXT WEEK THOUGH.
and its not cos of school! the fiction im reading,
which is BRRRRR-ANDED, BTW, its got ASDFOMG three betas on it,
has... sadly... announced a rather dark turn. allow me.

" Actually, from this chapter on, some really horrible things will be happening to all four main characters; not a single one of them will come through unscathed and, as long as I’m on the topic, this is as good a time as any to say that one of them won’t come through at all. I’m hereby issuing an official Character Death warning."

how can i bear it with a cheery spirit!?!?!??!? I LOVE THAT THING. i love the writer. ive been following her stories for.. okay a few hours. BUT I LOVE HER ALREADY! speaking of love though-

-four, SLEEPLESS IN SEATLE IS MY NEW FAVOURITE MOVIE!
HEHEHEHE.
even though its ;tres' old. ):

but still. watch it! its all the things that makes girls swoon and guys snort, all the things that make guys laugh and girls slap them, and between the two, all the things that make little kids scream "YEAHH!!" and high-five each other as they see other little kids on screen mess with the forbidden 'Adult Affairs' but still manage to be fine in the end, while generally looking cool.
[try reading that in one breath, bet you cant do it!]

okay. off to try to salvage my disillusioned self with some
macs and cheese.
hurhur.

BYE PEOPLE! (:

2009-07-17T17:17:00.000+10:00

You may tie my hands with chains and my feet with shackles, and put me in the dark prison, but you shall not enslave my thinking, for it is free, like the breeze in the spacious sky"- Kahlil Gibran

the best lie is a 90% truth.
lie to me, deny that i love it.

2009-07-14T23:44:00.001+10:00

MARIA IS SUCH A CHEAT AT GUESS THE SKETCH!

MARIA, YOU IGNORANT BOOB! sigh. though...
i guess being her partner in crime makes me kind of guilty too.

STILL, MARIA YOU BOOB!
:D

2009-07-13T20:32:00.000+10:00

i've let The perfect One slip out of my fingers,
only to reallise it now. it wont happen again.

Baby, seasons change but people don't.
And I'll always be waiting in the back room.
I'm boring but overcompensate with
Headlines and flash, flash, flash photography.

[pre] But don't pretend you ever forgot about me. Don't pretend you ever forgot about me. [chorus] Wouldn't you rather be a widow than a divorcee? Style your wake for fashion magazines. Widow or a divorcee? Don't pretend, d-d-d-don't pretend. We don't fight fair. We don't fight fair.
They say your head can be a prison.
Then these are just conjugal visits.
People will dissect us till
This doesn't mean a thing anymore.
[chorus]

We do it in the dark with smiles on our faces.
We're dropped and well concealed in secret places, woah.
We do it in the dark with smiles on our faces.
We're dropped and well concealed in secret places
We don't fight fair.
We don't fight fair.

Don't pretend you ever forgot about me.
We don't fight fair.
Don't pretend you ever forgot about me.
We don't fight fair.

2009-07-11T04:32:00.000+10:00

a sudden thought has just occurred...

korean is the new equivalent of Veela (;

heheh. (okay that's not a very convincing picture of their utterly smexy, to-die-for- Hotness, but you get the general idea. feel free to approach any kpop fangirl~)

HEHEHEH.

2009-07-07T00:24:00.001+10:00

omg, there has to be no better way to pass the evening than to watch oli piss dave off. i should do this more often.

VALERICIOUS [PRESS OKAY] says:
HAHA
LOL
lol
lolololololol
davedavepongpong (: says:
i swear u have gone insane
VALERICIOUS [PRESS OKAY] says:
HI dave lim wei jin
davedavepongpong (: says:
...
VALERICIOUS [PRESS OKAY] says:
are u mad???
cos its not val
lllllll
l
ll
ll
l
l
l
l
l
l
l
l
swearing is a big thing
so is promising
haha

davedavepongpong (: says:
LOL.
what?!?!?!
VALERICIOUS [PRESS OKAY] says:
DAVE LOL THIS IS THE SISTER THAT YOURE STALKING
GEN SAYS HI!
davedavepongpong (: says:
ohhh.
HAHA
VALERICIOUS [PRESS OKAY] says:
I WAS NOT GEN
davedavepongpong (: says:
thats quite nice to know.
VALERICIOUS [PRESS OKAY] says:
GEN JUST POOPPPED IN TO SAY HI
davedavepongpong (: says:
ohhh.
than which sister is THIS.
VALERICIOUS [PRESS OKAY] says:
oi [she meant, OLI.]
davedavepongpong (: says:
....?!
VALERICIOUS [PRESS OKAY] says:
the coolest
davedavepongpong (: says:
oh.
me?
VALERICIOUS [PRESS OKAY] says:
no
u
davedavepongpong (: says:
huh?
VALERICIOUS [PRESS OKAY] says:
huh
wat huh
wats so confusing
i m not a genius u noe?
davedavepongpong (: says:
... okay.
VALERICIOUS [PRESS OKAY] says:
dun give me that attitude...
[super LOL, i cant believe oli said that. she's such a bomb! :D ]
davedavepongpong (: says:
kay.
VALERICIOUS [PRESS OKAY] says:
wats next,,,
ay?
do u overstand?
young man...or are u old?
who re u?
i noe,dave lim wei jin...
u are daoing me so i will go to sleep!yay!with mr bunny and beary and my snoring dog and my alien and my sausage bear! [where the hell does she get these names...]
BB

bb
bb
bbb
bb
bb
b
b
b
b
bbb
bbb
is gen talking to u ?

You have just sent a nudge.

VALERICIOUS [PRESS OKAY] says:
GOOOOOOOOOOOODNIGHT!

[SOME TIME LATERRRR...]

oh hai there. i see you were having fun with my sister.

BAAAHAHAHAHA OH MAN. life's simple pleasures.

2009-07-06T16:21:00.000+10:00

OMG, I DONT CARE, YOU GUYS HAVE TO WATCH THIS!!!

ANIME + SUPER JUNIOR + SUPER POWERS = NOT GOOD! :D

hangeng pwns all, yes he is one sexy ~~motherfucker.~~
in the last scene he does a tasmanian devil and steals all their clothes with his NINJA POWERS! OMO! while shindong eats a fridge and makes strange faces.

before the Dance Battle, SUPERSHOW '09.

2009-07-05T21:36:00.001+10:00

WHEEE! FAVE NEW POEM, I'LL JUST DUMP IT HERE:D

The Highway Man

The wind was a torrent of darkness upon the gusty trees,
The moon was a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas,
The road was a ribbon of moonlight looping the purple moor,
And the highwayman came riding--
Riding--riding--
The highwayman came riding, up to the old inn door.

He'd a French cocked hat on his forehead, and a bunch of lace at his chin;
He'd a coat of the claret velvet, and breeches of fine doe-skin.
They fitted with never a wrinkle; his boots were up to his thigh!
And he rode with a jeweled twinkle--
His rapier hilt a-twinkle--
His pistol butts a-twinkle, under the jeweled sky.

Over the cobbles he clattered and clashed in the dark inn-yard,
He tapped with his whip on the shutters, but all was locked and barred,
He whistled a tune to the window, and who should be waiting there
But the landlord's black-eyed daughter--
Bess, the landlord's daughter--
Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair.

Dark in the dark old inn-yard a stable-wicket creaked
Where Tim, the ostler listened--his face was white and peaked--
His eyes were hollows of madness, his hair like mouldy hay,
But he loved the landlord's daughter--
The landlord's black-eyed daughter;
Dumb as a dog he listened, and he heard the robber say:

"One kiss, my bonny sweetheart; I'm after a prize tonight,
But I shall be back with the yellow gold before the morning light.
Yet if they press me sharply, and harry me through the day,
Then look for me by moonlight,
Watch for me by moonlight,
I'll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way."

He stood upright in the stirrups; he scarce could reach her hand,
But she loosened her hair in the casement! His face burnt like a brand
As the sweet black waves of perfume came tumbling o'er his breast,
Then he kissed its waves in the moonlight
(O sweet black waves in the moonlight!),
And he tugged at his reins in the moonlight, and galloped away to the west.

He did not come in the dawning; he did not come at noon.
And out of the tawny sunset, before the rise of the moon,
When the road was a gypsy's ribbon over the purple moor,
The redcoat troops came marching--
Marching--marching--
King George's men came marching, up to the old inn-door.

They said no word to the landlord; they drank his ale instead,
But they gagged his daughter and bound her to the foot of her narrow bed.
Two of them knelt at her casement, with muskets by their side;
There was Death at every window,
And Hell at one dark window,
For Bess could see, through her casement, the road that he would ride.

They had bound her up at attention, with many a sniggering jest!
They had tied a rifle beside her, with the barrel beneath her breast!
"Now keep good watch!" and they kissed her. She heard the dead man say,
"Look for me by moonlight,
Watch for me by moonlight,
I'll come to thee by moonlight, though Hell should bar the way."

She twisted her hands behind her, but all the knots held good!
She writhed her hands till her fingers were wet with sweat or blood!
They stretched and strained in the darkness,
and the hours crawled by like years,
Till, on the stroke of midnight,
Cold on the stroke of midnight,
The tip of one finger touched it! The trigger at least was hers!

The tip of one finger touched it, she strove no more for the rest;
Up, she stood up at attention, with the barrel beneath her breast.
She would not risk their hearing, she would not strive again,
For the road lay bare in the moonlight,
Blank and bare in the moonlight,
And the blood in her veins, in the moonlight, throbbed to her love's refrain.

Tlot tlot, tlot tlot! Had they heard it? The horse-hooves, ringing clear;
Tlot tlot, tlot tlot, in the distance! Were they deaf that they did not hear?
Down the ribbon of moonlight, over the brow of the hill,
The highwayman came riding--
Riding--riding--
The redcoats looked to their priming! She stood up straight and still.

Tlot tlot, in the frosty silence! Tlot tlot, in the echoing night!
Nearer he came and nearer! Her face was like a light!
Her eyes grew wide for a moment, she drew one last deep breath,
Then her finger moved in the moonlight--
Her musket shattered the moonlight--
Shattered her breast in the moonlight and warned him--with her death.

He turned, he spurred to the West; he did not know who stood
Bowed, with her head o'er the casement, drenched in her own red blood!
Not till the dawn did he hear it, and his face grew grey to hear
How Bess, the landlord's daughter,
The landlord's black-eyed daughter,
Had watched for her love in the moonlight, and died in the darkness there.

Back, he spurred like a madman, shrieking a curse to the sky,
With the white road smoking behind him and his rapier brandished high!
Blood-red were his spurs in the golden noon, wine-red was his velvet coat
When they shot him down in the highway,
Down like a dog in the highway,
And he lay in his blood in the highway, with the bunch of lace at his throat.

And still on a winter's night, they say, when the wind is in the trees,
When the moon is a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas,
When the road is a gypsy's ribbon looping the purple moor,
The highwayman comes riding--
Riding--riding--
The highwayman comes riding, up to the old inn-door.

Over the cobbles he clatters and clangs in the dark inn-yard,
He taps with his whip on the shutters, but all is locked and barred,
He whistles a tune to the window, and who should be waiting there
But the landlord's black-eyed daughter--
Bess, the landlord's daughter--
Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair.

-- Alfred Noyes

2009-07-04T17:27:00.006+10:00

I HATE YOU ALL.
I HATE GOD. FOR TAKING EVERYTHING AWAY.
i hate the people.
for doing the impossible to me.
for making me hate what i want
for making me see despair in what i love
for making me see fear what i trusted
for making me believe in what was most painful-

-for taking you all away.
but god,
but even as a i rage and shriek against you,
i find myself drawing even nearer to you.
i just want you to love me and never leave.
the truth hurts when i admit it.

2009-07-03T23:28:00.000+10:00

okay. dont know whether to go for prom or not! D:

i just want to spend the night with jjang, as EVERYONE, TOGETHER! graaaah!! its impossible when there's so many of us and everyone has their own agenda. its either the prom or HILLSONGCONCERTOMGYAY or maybe just slink away to watch another movie (actually, NO!!). ive already bought my prom stuff, but i dont really care for it, if jjang decides to go elsewhere instead. all im asking is that can we please just agree on doing one thing???

well for now, nener just dashed off to buy hillsong tickets and was never to be seen again:D hahahaha. and rachy's probably following her. poon and maria on the other hand, arent that ... religeous? (heck, whats so religeous about a concert, i dont understand why cant they just come along) so they're going to watch a movie meanwhile. joey says prom is too ex but val has got a sponsor... * hahah. and xuan? for once, i dont really dare to ask her. ):

what should i do??!?!?
HOW HOW HOW. MENTALLY, IM RUNNING AROUND LIKE A RUBBER CHICKEN WITH ITS NECK SLIT.

sigh. i wanna go see my classmates and do stupid things at prom, but then... ummm. its just not the same without jjang. ))))":

and. IF... i do choose hillsong instead, how do i tell my parents?
my dads always had this fixation that i should go for prom cos dinner is important. (something like that.) but he's really obsessed and even when i didnt choose the dress he liked, he got super angry. how am i supposed to tell him now that im not going at all? DD;
its like, imagine if your dad has always seen you as a doctor, engineer or lawyer. but you tell him you're running away to join the circus. yeah, BOMBSHELL DROPPING HELLO? he'll probably flip, throw the biggest tantrum AND THEN disallow me to go at all.
...
Pft.

2009-07-01T03:27:00.000+10:00

today, we had bible-study... and it was awesome(: not the hysterical screaming cheap 'awesome', but the quiet kind of awesome, where you say it softly to yourself and agree that it was something special. we met after school, angel sneaked xuan and I into some random study room in SMU, then we ended up having 2 hour bs... instead of just 40 min. hahaha. i ended up finding out more about her and krystle than... i dont know, such valuable information in so long! this is really what i've been waiting for, finally some heavy stuff... yeah. VICTORIOUS LIVING is some powerful knowledge. just wait till you get there!!

PRAYER & FASTING
DELIVERANCE FROM DEMONS
DIVINE HEALING (PART A)
DIVING HEALING (PART B)
SPIRITUAL WARFARE...

get ready to be blown away man!(:
gotta do qt now, but there was this verse... ahahah nvm, tmr. it was something that i got in my qt last night... and then it came out during bs today! i was really surprised, but ah well(; God is charming? heh. kaykay goodnight!(:

2009-06-28T20:09:00.000+10:00

3 strange things of today.

one. during svc, somehow my parents ended up sitting REALLY NEAR us. gaah! well that and someone else. in the end i changed seats to elsewhere far far away, small brandon's usher-controlled section i think. but anyway, it wasnt bad at all! i should do it more often. really felt the spirit, i cried during worship anw. its something that hasnt happened in a long time. (: (: (:

two. RANDOMNESS!
THERE WAS A BLEEDING BOOK FAIR AT EXPO.
you HARDLY SEE BOOK FAIRS.

1 BOOK FOR $5
5 BOOKS FOR $20

with books like HITMAN and other by renowned authors like gory-grunge Mo Hayder (i have another of his books - Ritual) and DAN BROWN. (cant rmb the rest. THERE WAS CHICK LIT THERE ANW.) so well, i added another star wars book to my collection! hahaha. i like star wars not for the hot actors, although yes Hayden Christiensen is damn hot, but he's also the guy who killed darth vader with his hopeless acting. ): i buy star wars novels for the literature, there's so much that just cant be put in the movie. i think i fell in love with general grievious in that instant. he's such a snarky sarcastic cyborg. baaahahahaha~ perhaps in another universe, i'd have liked to fight alongside him.

three. THREE FOR THE THREE ICE-CREAMS IVE EATEN!!! HAHAHAHAHAH!!! COS. TODAY IS SO. BLOPPING. HOT. and two, ive just got a fetish for doing the forbidden? :/ my parents hate me eating ice-creams so i eat them AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE when i go out. which follow's my life's principles of
"LIFE'S UNCERTAIN, EAT DESSERT FIRST."
:D

okay, its three PLUS ONE MORE! i bought my prom dress today. AND IM GOING TO BE A PUNK FOR MY PROM. AAHAHAHAHA. -THIS IS GONNA BE FUN- im wearing it with my boots and maybe emily's head-dress (if i can steal it or maybe recreate it! XD) although... my dad almost had a hissy fit when i insisted on buying it. apparently he had one of those bloody expensive and formal dresses in mind. (he was actually GUSHING about it with my mom. they saw it at robinson's. at times like these i secretly think he'll make an awesome girl-.-) so yeah.
...
well actually, it was a lil more than a hissyfit, cos he was real pissed and ranting about to gen. i could hear them even from the changing room. ))):

but, ITS MY PROM. i dont see the logic in buying something expensive when,
1) ITS ALL GIRLS. im not officially lesbian. so um. not much to motivation to seduce? HAHAHAHA okay now now, dont take this to heart, im just kidding:D
2) ITS JUST ONE NIGHT. im going to re-wear my dress, hopefully in a less-formal event too. like a party or reunion whatever:D dresses are for accessorising! (OH BIMBO SIDE COMING OUT, SORRY)

kaykay. going to bathe and file my LAST YEAR'S WORK. (yeah im that slow. X)

LEFT HOTTIE gay couple! not. such emo poses. sigh.
RIGHT k maybe my future best friend willbe a snarky cyborg who has four arms. i think.

2009-06-28T01:22:00.000+10:00

this is probably another round of confounded spiritual attacks.

recently, ive been feeling really ... depressed, to say the least. its not the kind that arises out of stress and school. this is the unexplainable gloom that sort ... of gloomies around you? gahh! HOW TO SAY!! O: its not something that i'd like you to experience anyway so i wont bother detailing. [okay. if you're harry potter this would be a dementor to you.]

still, ive been feeling spiritually tired. besides the whole krystle episode, ive just been having really morbid and upsetting thoughts. like, what if Our God isnt really the Real one? you know, things like what if the Allah that the muslims are so insistent about is the Real one?? D: oh gosh, i cant bear imagine.

while there has never been a question that God is very real to me, what if... 'He isnt be there for me? can i put my trust in him, without worrying that it'll be broken?' ...nghhh. perhaps this arises out a rather dark period in my life, where i felt God wasnt there for me at all. i was going through trouble, but i felt God simply wasnt around then, and all his promises for me just weren't coming through. and then i grouched, 'who are we to hold him accountable anyway? its not like we can just march up to an Almighty and demand he be fair, if he doesnt feel like being fair then its like 'SO???? WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT IT ANYWAY, HUH?" nothing, really. '

)':

actually, i think i still feel hurt over that, although now i reallise that its just yet another lesson for me to learn. lessons are always painful, but even I understand that God is more concerned for our character than just our comfort. (thank goodness though. or we'd all be wimps. EEEYUR! ) but its still a bitter pill to swallow. i guess im just having one of those ranty moods where i rant. and complain and basically be a childish nightmare. though... -God just loves to do this to me- everytime i complain, he'll send me a message EXACTLY fit for what im going thru, through pastor's sermons or cg or sometimes even secular songs or library literature. somehow the message i pick up will be EXACTLY TO COUNTER ME for it! :D hahahaha. its dryly humourous, i guess. no surprise, today's cg message was about

-BEING A MATURE BELIEVER.

HA HA. i telll you our God has his sense of humor:D so anyway, it felt like a light slap on the hand. i hope i'll wake up.

one thing i must mention though. i know ive been complaining that i wanna change cg, but that im just not growing in this cg. there's no one whos around to mentor me! i mean, HELLO. angel is never there for me! and gerald? im not going to... nah let's face it, im just not gonna. its strange to suddenly pour my questions over him when i hardly talk to him (nope, nothing personal, we just...dont? heh. :) who else is in the cg that has been around church for as long or are as mature+seasoned as them?
but two people came to me today with answers to this.

first was yixuan. (how unlikely, hahaha. we usually just amuse ourselves being creepy) while we were hanging out at KAP, i started telling her about the Krystle thing and about changing cgs. then she told me that actually, she wouldnt really come with me! which is mildly surprising cos last time, she was the one who suggested it first(; she pointed out that hey, what is the cg gonna fall to if we both leave? erm no offence, but gerald and jarrad are rather incapacitated at the moment, (NO NOT THE HEADLESS ONE! THE OTHER ONE, BEING INCAPABLE! dumbass.) and mao is under house arrest or something H1N1-ish.

actually, there's nothing to stop us from walking away... but our conscience. pft. which is both the smallest and biggest thing!!
RAAAAAH!!
(i'll think more and update later.)

second was jiahao! he's taking his A levels in HWA CHONG OMG this year. yeah apart from the prejudice against his school... surprise surprise. i dont think most people know i talk to him online, it hardly shows does it? (well now you know! :D) he just started talking to me randomly, and since we've kind of clicked really well. huh. he's hopeless and smart at the same time! contrary to what isaac thinks- ('sexbomb.' HAHAHA. IRONY MAN!! isaac is just horny.) its reallly rare you meet that side of people.

breaking blocks and wrecking rocks. says:
okie no prob.
i shall be logging off if there're no further issues.
remember:
1. logging off = chopping wood and
2. pusillanimous= frightened even of taking small risks
k got random the Great Vermicious Knid says:
HAHAHAHA!
IS THAT REAL?!
pu-sill-ani-mous.
HAHAHA
SEXY WHOA. breaking blocks and wrecking rocks. says:
2 is real.
its in the dictionary. the Great Vermicious Knid says:
powaaah!
((((:
anyway, GBU THEN!
i need to do amath -.- breaking blocks and wrecking rocks. says:
whats gbu? the Great Vermicious Knid says:
its god bless you.(: breaking blocks and wrecking rocks. says:
game boy upgraded?
haha ok yah the Great Vermicious Knid says:
HAHAHA. NICE TRY.

ta-daaah! my retarded older brother. (yes we've adopted him, AHAHA.)

but anyway, talking to him made me reallise that... YEAH, I DO HAVE SOMEONE WHOS GUIDING ME - HIM! while he's not in my cg, that doesnt mean he cant be my spiritual mentor. i guess? (yes too bad.) hahaha. it seems like everytime we talk, its not small talk but deeper stuff about life. he always has an encouraging word for me, or really powerful verses from the bible. he's different from other people who just scream rainbows and hot guys but not much else. its... kind of refreshing! (:

i was just telling him about my mental unhappiness and some other questions about spiritual attacks. and he told me,
"...record romans 8:28 which is quite useful i think,
like someguy who prayed 4 me said b4 that
a spirit is something you cannot consciously get out of and just recurs,
whereas a mind thing is sth you can take control of."

gaaah. well at least i have half a control over my mind. ~~let's not hope its a bloody spirit.~~ o_o indeed... the greatest battlefield is that of the mind. anyway, other verses we were talking about - Matthew 18:10, romans 8:28, romans 8:25, psalm 34:7. im putting psalm 34:7 here, cos i feel its esp soothing... in the light of schl starting anw. -.-

7. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.
8, Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
9, Fear the lord, you his saints, for those who fear him lack NOTHING.
10, the lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who SEEK THE LORD lack no good thing!

isnt it everything we could ask for? i could just be a woolly sheep and roll around in God's green fields forever after i get to heaven!! hahaha.

am i being preachy and rambly? yes i think im digressing!:D ahhh! but i cant stop myself this time, its like when you feel God's talking to you you just cant wait to tell everyone else! it flows naturally, like telling yixuan about my latest hankyung stalking activities or sth. you know, that kind of excitement? i guess this is like Really Holy Gossiping about the bible! hahaha. i wonder what God will say about that when i tell Him! 'tsk! val i know you love me, but you are such a bimbo at times.'

hahahaha.

WELL OKAY, NOTHING LEFT TO SAY SO
YAYERS NOW I WILL DO MORE AMATH.

oh& for linghui - see MATTHEW 10:19-20!
ITS EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED, DEAR, ABOUT KYM(;

dreaming vanilla and nightmares.

2009-06-26T04:49:00.000+10:00

siiiiiiiiiiiiiggggh.. FIR came to our church some time ago and performed this song. its been stuck in my head since. this song is so .. beautiful. somehow, chinese songs that succeed in getting into you are always better than their cheap english counterparts. of course, this is the translated version and nowhere as effective in expression as the original...

YUE YA WAN ~ F.I.R.

The grit of the heavens stars
Carries (with them) our memories
I look back midway
This Qin passage* is boundless and winding
Dream that I’ve passed through the Western Regions
Embodying how many rugged hills of Shandong
Love is like a traveling diary
I will seek its riddle
Look at the tears under the crescent moon bay
Forgotten above the Silk Road

chorus~
Whose heart is it
alone and left behind
Is he still well
How I want to love him
Those everlasting tears
Solidify that one sentence
Perhaps they can evaporate

Whose love is it
That is stronger than tears
Calling softly
(That can) let me melt
Every drop of rainwater
Strengthens into my wings
Running after the person that I love

and because i know you cant read this anyway...
敦煌天空的沙礫
帶著我們的記憶
我從半路看回去
這秦關漫漫好彎曲

夢想穿過了西域
包含了多少的巉嶧
愛情像一本游記
我會找尋它的謎語
bridge~
看,月芽灣下的淚光
在絲路之上被遺忘
chorus~
是誰的心哪
孤單地留下
他還好嗎
我多想愛他
那永恒的淚
凝固那一句話
也許可能蒸發

是誰的愛啊
比淚水堅強
輕聲呼喚
就讓我融化
每一滴雨水
演化成我翅膀
向著我愛的人追吧

the two cows story...

2009-06-24T06:40:00.001+10:00

omg, this is so cute. i dont know why but i have a sudden love for all this political science nonsense:D OH LOOKIE!! its the YOU HAVE TWO COWS analogy, favourite of every bored kid stuck in a lecture they dont need to understand.
presenting..

You Have Two Cows! <3
heh. just a small sampler here...

Japanese corporation	You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
British corporation	You have two cows. Both are mad. You try to sell them in Europe.
Russian corporation	You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka
Chinese corporation	You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
Indian corporation	You have two cows. You worship them until they drop dead.

HAHAHAHAH. ~~DAMN BAD RIGHT.~~ i cant wait for uni now! (:
anyway there's more for those who love it, click HERE!!(((((: its TE' BOMB-UH! oh. unless you're rather sensitive and protective towards your own govt, then in that case you kind of dont wanna...
^W^

ANYWAY, last night for me was-
TRANSFORMERS 2!!!

ohh yeah. it was EXPLOSIVE... but not mind-blowing. kind of makes you wanna sleep in the middle-after one too many shootout scenes, its like a "WHAT WAS HE THINKING??!"-moment.

its like. he's pushing it. not really, cos the plot is too complicated and there's too many themes - GOVT CONSPIRACY!! + alien wars + romance + this random bit where he tried to be all spiritual and honour-earning and stuff. there's just too much going on! [OH SHIT. MORE SPOILERS COMING. DONT READ IF YOU'RE PLANNING TO WATCH!(: ]

firstly. SHIA IS DAMN UGLY. im sorry. but there you have it, i said it:D what's megan fox doing with him!? even if she was once a man. even men-trannies have better taste.
then. TOO MESSY! O: really. michael bay does a great job with all his effects and stuff, but you get a feel that he's getting carried away. sadface for him. there's just too much explosions such that you feel he's trying too hard.

but then... it has some redeeming qualities. like
one. JOSH DUHAMEL! who is sooooo very hot and sexy, as the alternate but minor hero. he's the captain of the elite NEST squad and pretty much the darling patriotic american solider every propaganda office ~~wants you to fantasize about~~ creates time after time. but its still working here:D

two. this cool old' robot - jetfire. [read?] the typical bad-turns-good fella that's essential for every blockbuster. sigh.

Jetfire:

As in the original, this fighter plane crash-landed on Earth a long time ago, and he is a reformed Decepticon now fighting for the humans. His alternate form is the SR-71 Blackbird, the outdated but still-sleek Cold War spy plane.

“He’s old, craggy, forgetful … doesn’t work very well. Can’t transform very well, because he’s very geriatric. They get stuck with him a lot,” Bay says. “He knows the plan of the bad guys, but he forgets all the good parts of the plan.”

three. THE ANIMATION. is mind.-blowing. yes. this is what really has me raving about... IT IS INSANELY GOOD!! even compared to star trek... O: in Tr2, you can see EVERYTHING. there was this scene in the gulf where optimus prime was fighting the decepticon lord- and it was SO clear. you could see the scratches on the metal, the sand, hell-even the textures of the cracks on the stone pillars! OMG. yeah. its there. most animators would have slacked off with detailing and just cover the scene with dust storms. but in Tr2... whoa. (((:

okay, im done raving about Tr2 now! :D hehehe. that's pretty much my whole post. more about other stuff later... (((:

gosh, this is what its like to be MARRIED. DDD8

2009-06-24T06:08:00.000+10:00

somewhere in vegas, in a swingin', neon, 24/7-sham-or-gay-marriages church...
veg is monologing.

''...SEXY, SEXY MARIA. sigh. why are we hooking up again at 3:33 am? beats me. oh yes, you promised me rum. why rum? ahh. we were both supposed to change to PIRATE BETA! (endorsements and cheap advertisements for CHANGE TO PIRATE BETA LANGUAGE! do it now!!) and after i spent the whole night trying to teach you how, you propose to me instead."
after a considerable pause,
"must be cause of those dratted facebook hearts. seductive little icons. its a conspiracy!!!"

and then she thinks no more, and gets married to maria anyway. somewhere on facebook, the pirate beta announes FIVE omnious prophecies!!

"YE BE HAVIN' A WENCH NAMED MARIA DIOR TAN CLAIMS T' BE YER LONG LOST BALL 'N CHAIN.

Maria has been sayin' you two is hooked. Be this true or has the scurvy dog had too much rum? "

[you press 'AYE!' out of kindness.]
AN ANNOUNCEMENT APPEARS:

"AYE, Maria be barred from the local brothel."

OH MY, MY, MY. YOU START LAUGH SHAMELESSLY.
BUT THEN ON YOUR HOME PAGE,

"Val is eternally bonded by the seas with Maria Dior."

oh gosh, what have i done?????! DDDDD8
AND THEN COS YOU'RE IN PIRATE MODE, THE SCREEN CHANGES TO:

"Ye haven't any more demands fer intimacy, ye ugly mug!"

hahahahahaha. the bloody thing even laughs at you.

2009-06-22T19:35:00.000+10:00

OMG, TRUST MARIA TO COME UP WITH SUCH STUFF. [this concerns baking, and that suspicious-looking brown extraterrestial brown pat of goops~]

And you know what? I RAN OUT OF EGGS!!! So this product is completely egg-free. Damn fail right?! I should have checked right?! BUT WHO ON EARTH DOESN'T HAVE EGGS?! (Well, me, apparently.) Argh.

So, to compensate, I added more butter. And then, I decided to add in some orange juice too, cos the alternative recipe looked good. (WTH MARIA! mixing recipes NEVER, NEVER, EVER, turns out well. esp since you're not martha steward) BUT IT SAID TO SUBSTITUTE THE ORANGE JUICE WITH THE WATER. I ADDED IT. Oh well. Uh, egg compensation? *chuckles nervously*

So this concoction was even more watery than its predecessor. Ahh well. IT TURNED OUT OKAY IN THE END~ The smell of freshly-baked cake (Well, to be honest, it smells of freshly-baked fudge, and looks it too.) is filling my nostrils as I type this! Moral of the story: USE WHITEWINGS, YOU CAN'T GO WRONG. Even when you take away a major ingredient, it still smells fine! (Cake too hot to taste.)

but some time LATER...

[/EDIT] THE CAKE IS TOO CRUMBLY!!! RAWR!! And the icing is too sticky. So it sticks to the cake eagerly... and the cake crumbles off. -.- It doesn't help that the cake is about the width of a ricepaper... So narrow! (It's about as tall as the width of 2 of your fingers.) I gave up after a while..
HAHAHAHAHAH!! SEE, DOING ANY BAKING WHILE BEING EGG-LESS IS NOT A VERY GOOD IDEA. gosh. crumbly and sad pastries. (this is a hint to you DAVE. DO NOT GO EGG-LESS).

HAHAHAHH OKAY STILL. its so enjoyable watching maria my infamous home-ed partner be gay. i love her so much man! trust her and her delicious blog to be my lil ray of sunshine. BAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
BAAAAHAHAHAHAHH

GAAAH IM LOOSING IT. too much boredom and people who are full of crap. XD

I LOVE YOU MARIA!!!

okay i shall neopets now. my sexy jelly chomby awaits.

PS, before i leave... theres always this kind of chaos.

the Great Vermicious Knid says:
i was just saving them so i could put it on my blog (dont worry, will credit you)
and then. it was saved as,
MARIA'S CAKE.
MARIA'S ICING.
MARIA'S OWN GOODS.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
M Dior says:
LOL WUT
the Great Vermicious Knid says:
DAMN WRONG
M Dior says:
OII
the Great Vermicious Knid says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
IM SO SORRY!!
M Dior says:
VEGGIEEEEEEEEEEEE
the Great Vermicious Knid says:
I DIDNT MEAN IT BUT,....
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA
M Dior says:
urgh
there goes my reputation and snaity
*sanity
gosh
aalready losing it
*already
****
dont you just love maria too??????? (;

2009-06-21T02:25:00.001+10:00

i believe there are three types of people in my life.
those who cant see and dont really care to;
those who cant see- but wish really hard they could;
and those who can look past the masks of others...
and then wish they couldn't.

contrary to idiotic belief, it isnt really something that you just have, or something that you're born with. to see with understanding, into the depths of why a person is the way he is, is something you have to learn on your own. no one can fully teach you how to read into another person's character. only until you've gone thru similar pains- that you'll start recognising tell-tale signs and subtle quirks that you've once performed yourself.

till then, stop trying to stereotype people for behaving the way they do, not until you've been there yourself.

has it really been seven years?
or is it barely a month?
time flies when im not with you
i still think about you, i do
then feel guilty- dont wanna face
an answer to why i do

2009-06-19T02:37:00.000+10:00

omg, this is rare and random. but i have to FAN AND FAVE

its like "OMG OMG OMG" about this webart, The Honeydew Syndrome. what a random name. it doesnt make any sense so stop trying to guess the story line! alright already, gahahhhhahahahahahahaaILOVEITSOMUCH!!!!!- but then, im such a sucker for the Weird and Alternative. sigh.

its so fun to guess who'll hook up, though the names and their genders are... extremely confusing. ahahaha. its short though, only 20 blink-worthy pages by 3 chapters. its so short and sexy, you've got to love it. unless... * ***** ***.

read at your own risk.
yes, alright seriously, if you dont know or dont appreciate whats yaoi dont even touch this.

2009-06-18T18:24:00.001+10:00

ps, sometimes, i dont feel im worthy of being your confidante.

2009-06-18T18:21:00.000+10:00

I've got my memories, Always inside of me
But I can't go back, Back to how it was
I believe you now, I've come too far
No I can't go back, Back to how it was
Created for a place, I've never known

This is home, Now I'm finally
Where I belong, Where I belong
Yeah, this is home
I've been searching For a place of my own
Now I've found it Maybe this is home
Yeah, this is home

Belief over misery
I've seen the enemy
And I won't go back

Back to how it was
And I got my heart
Set on What happens next
I got my eyes wide
It's not over yet
We are miracles
And we're not alone

And now after all
My searching
After all my questions
I'm gonna call it home
I got a brand new mindset
I can finally see
The sunset
I'm gonna call it home

Now I know
Yeah, this is home
i've come too far
And I won't go back
Yeah, this is home

i dont feel so good. though... chalet was good as fishing. hahaha. slept for 15 hours. dead and sick now. been forced to finish my math and start on physics.